#Ash has very long and complicated war lol

[grimmgrinningghouls]

Go on about ash I dare you. (Interpret this as me legit asking about ash)

OKAY OKAY There is SO much to say about Ash where do I even start bro. She's been plaguing my brain for a fucking year now she won't leave. She's a skywing from WoF but we made wings of fire dope as shit and cured the series of its straight white woman author disease. She's essentially a spartan warrior version of a dragon and she's so silly.

She's also the daughter of two rich dragons, her moms a decorated war hero, and her dads just a rich prick. Her moms a vile dragon who doesn't care about her children outside of them ending up like her, as in also being decorated and valued members of skywing society. The only attention she gives them is putting them through the whole spartan 9 yards. Much like spartans, she started training around the age she learned to fly, which is 7 years old in dragon years. She was 2 in actual years, but maturity-wise she was 7.

Most skywings are required to go into some form of military training, at least for a few years. Its legally required for them to be in boot camp for 2 years, afterward they can choose to join the military or just do what they wanna do. Most of them join the military bc skywings heavily value their soldiers though. Still, the 2 year boot camp they go through teaches them basic reading, writing, math, and all that fun stuff. Ash didn't go through that however. Due to her mother's rank, Ash was allowed to be home indoctrinated lol.

Which in turn meant she was never taught to write, read, or do math. She can read maps and basic words, and do basic math, but she can't write at all and struggles with reading. All of her time was focused on military. She spent the first 5 years of her life doing grueling exercises, including being starved, whipped, threatened with a snake that could kill her with one bite, verbally abused, and generally just neglected unless she was training. Poor girl went through hell. Ash DOES have siblings tho, in the form of Singe, her older sister, who went through much of the same torment, and her two younger twin sisters, Soot and Smog.

Soot and Smog were left pretty much alone by their mother. Their mother was a very materialistic dragon, she only saw others for their use, she saw Singe and Ash as her future killing machines, and Soot and Smog as nothing more than tokens she could marry off once they were of age to richer families in different tribes to further expand her families influence. Soot and Smog were spoiled and pampered since they had nothing else to do, their father was very uninvolved and tbh a lil bit scared of his wife, while their mother put her focus on Singe and Ash. The twins are incredibly spoiled and like to mock their older sisters.

She did intend to marry Singe and Ash both off as well, she was planning on trying to marry Ash into the royal family, and Singe to whatever dragon she thought would increase their family's riches and power.

Around the age of 19 in human years, conflict began breaking out in pyrrhia thanks to the rainwing queen getting bitter. Their mother (Candle btw) saw this as a lovely opportunity to shove her two oldest daughters into the horrors of war. Singe and Ash are both incredibly competent soldiers due to their upbringing and get praised heavily. It catches the eye of Sunstone, the queen's right-hand man and the top general of the entire army. Essentially, Sunstone has the strongest army in pyrrhia at his command. He's impressed by them, so puts Ash under the mentorship of another very high-ranking general named Aelous, and mentors Singe himself.

Aelous is rough around the edges but treats Ash better than her mother did. Sunstone is a very carefree dragon, so he and Singe end up being besties. These are the first real connections Ash makes outside of her older sister. Sunstones not all he's cracked up to be however, he's a jealous, bitter, and downright delusional monster who doesn't care at all for any dragons life but his own. He thinks that all the queens are doing shitty queen jobs, so is planning to overthrow them all and put rulers he finds more adequate on the throne. To do this, he's working with the previously mentioned bitter rainwing queen who he plans to double cross.

Sunstone sabotages his own army and sends soldiers to their dooms, secretly helping the rainwing queen take out the biggest threat to her from the inside out. Enough about him though.

Ash, after just returning from a scout mission, goes looking for her older sister in the skywing barracks. Lots of stuff happens, but for now, all yall need to know is Sunstone killed Singe. This shook Ash and completely uprooted her entire world. I don't want to go tooo into detail with it, but like I mentioned before, Ash was severely neglected outside of her soldier training. She was never taught how to deal with her emotions and is prone to outbursts of rage, sadness, and even joy. She doesn't know how to express herself, so goes through a very rough grieving process.

Won't spoil any more, but she meets some dragons from another tribe who help her with her grief and in finding herself, and in the end, she's the one who takes down Sunstone and stops the war, commits some war crimes, goes to prison and almost dies at one point, accidentally kills her mother and helps her little sisters not be little shits, as well as cuts off her father, falls in love, and gets over (most) of her trauma

[undeadmagick]

How my Deities Appear to Me ♡

One of my very first posts was talking about how surreal it was to see my deities (or how they present themselves to me). You can find it here. So I decided to make a whole post to show what they look like to me with descriptions and some images to kinda explain what I mean. :)

Note: I haven’t meditated with Lucifer before so his appearance isn’t clear to me. Also Apollo had a blurred/unclear face to me when we met so in this post, I’ll be talking about my other deities. If this is an interesting post, I might make a pt. 2 with Apollo even though his face is somewhat unclear to me.

Extra Note: Again, these are how they appear to ME. Obviously, deities present themselves as they think is most identifiable/comfortable to each individual. :)

Deities Featured: Hades, Freyja, Jörmungandr

Hades

Hades has always been the most clear to me. I don’t know if it was because I hold onto the memory so tightly or if it’s because I feel the most connected to him. But for Hades, he presents himself as an older man (late 50s). Many lines on his face with incredibly strong features like a prominent nose. Characters like Snape or Death from Supernatural have that side profile that is similar to how he presents himself to me. Although, Death has the most accurate face to me since Hades has that prominent bump in his nose, sunken in cheeks and thin lips. He has long, sleek black hair and usually wears a black version of Ancient Greek robes that hang off of one shoulder. He also holds his bident, using it almost like a walking stick as he walks. Incredibly tall (Although that’s a feature for most of my deities. For some reason, they all appear to be like 9ft tall.)

Freyja

Freyja also appears to me as an older woman. She has lines on her face like a woman in her older 40-50s. She always keeps a stoic look on her face, cold eyes but warm demeanor in a way. Lagertha from Vikings has a similar vibe to Freyja in having an intimidating and fierce aura but I would say Michelle Pfeiffer when playing Janet van Dyne has a more accurate appearance. Michelle has those high cheeks with lines coming from her nose downward as well as a square-ish face that Freyja has. A mature, motherly appearance while having a femininity to her which perfectly encapsulates Freyja being the goddess of love & beauty but also goddess of war. Freyja also has long ash blonde hair with some small braids in it. Most notably, she wears furs over her shoulders and golden metal jewelry. Much like Hades, she is incredibly tall, towering over me.

Jörmungandr

Ohh, my only non-human deity, lol. Bit more complicated to explain but I’ll try my best. So, obviously, he doesn’t appear as large as he’s described in mythology (or else I’d be 10x smaller than his pupils). He is similar in size to his model in the GOW game, large enough to dwarf you but small enough to fit into a deep lake/ocean. Different to that game, his scales are a deep blue/black in color. But similar to that game is that his appearance is a mix of a snake and more draconic features. His head isn’t as flat as a snake’s but is more pronounced with spikes amongst his scales like a dragon would have. His nostrils aren’t as high up like the game but instead the usual snake placement of being lower and to the front. His eyes are golden sometimes but not incredibly bright. While he is incredibly intimidating, both in attitude and size—causing my heart to race, meditation sessions tend to me calm. (Funny how looking for images that resemble him are more heartracing/anxiety inducing than actually seeing him lol. He has chill vibes.) Since he doesn’t speak physically, it tends to be quiet with just the sounds of the waves of the ocean. Only his head and some of his body appears out of the water. I’ve never seen his entire being.

[atopvisenyashill]

fanfic recs part deux

i wanted to post this forever ago but i’ve been reading soooo slowly lol and i still have like 30 fics bookmarked that i want to read ntm trying to find old fics i liked but didn’t bookmark. i think most of these are one shots altho some of them are series or multi chapter. i put a lil star next to the ones that are multi chapter if you’re someone who wants something long to read. also, the ones that are pretty colors are the ones i’m very fond of.

ALSO, i am always trying to recreate the absolute high i get whenever the fire of our blood and the black widow update. i like to rec them bc i love them but also bc one is very pro greens and ones very pro blacks and i personally love how differently they approach the question “can the dance ever actually be avoided?” with their stories. Also best part (imo) is no one gets butterfly effected away!!!

but okay onto the fics i've read and enjoyed let's goooo-

AUs where someone is butterfly effected away

viable alternatives by madina -> ✨dance au where rhaenys decides to get involved in the life of her son a little bit earlier, and researches a way to artificially inseminate rhaenyra. it deals a lot with the childhoods of daemon, viserys, and rhaenys, and features a lot jacemond and jacegon. butterfly effects away the dragon twins. also, if you like the series, there's some cute art made for it.

wrestling with snakes by madgirlslovesong -> ✨imagine book canon but viserys has the personality of viserys ii instead of viserys i. it's interesting, and intricately plotted out, and i love fic where you can see the work the author put into detailing everything. butterfly effects away all the kids, also, there's art here.

from ashes to embers by ladyalianora -> ✨rhaenyra is reborn just before viserys takes a wife, told by the gods she must attempt to stop the war. plays kinda fast and loose with timelines and canon (it's a mix of show and books). i adore the characterization of rhaenyra in it. butterfly effects away all of the kids.

all you have is your fire (and the place you need to reach) by sunchaser -> ✨rec-ed by @camagueyys rhaenyra and qoren are engaged in order to bring dorne into the realm. as part of the agreement, qoren comes to foster at king's landing until rhaenyra is of age, where they will move to Summerhall, which will become rhaenyra’s seat to pass onto her children. except, of course, people die and the line of succession for dorne and the iron throne starts getting very complicated. i love the concept of rhaenyra marrying qoren and i like the way this fic explores that, and also i love how aemma and alicent are written in this.

longing comes running by theicedragon -> ✨wherein rhaenyra's first born is a daughter named velaena instead of a son named jacaerys. velaena becomes rhaenyra's heir and develops an interesting relationship with her uncle aemond. this is my new obsession. i love the way the fic really digs into how gender and legitimacy intersect and the ways that would impact valaena (and rhaenyra). i reblogged a graphic for it a while back too, show the author some love if you're interested!

An Excerpt From Chapter Two ("The Heiress and the Eldest Son”) of Maester Orwyle’s History of Rhaenyra I's Reign by lamelessnes -> incredibly short (like 350 words) but it’s written in the style of fire and blood and i think it’s fun. AU where Rhaenyra is forced to marry Aegon.

writ in blood by zzbkit4 -> ✨rhaegar wins on the trident but the war is a long way from over. i’ve mentioned this one before because it’s an au scenario a lot of people love to think about and it’s REALLY well done. mostly catelyn’s pov with a fair amount of dornish povs, as well as lyanna, benjen, and rhaella.

AUs where love saves the day and anyone who doesn’t like it gets stomped into paste

fear in his eyes by raybyanothername -> driftmark au. daemon notices aegon seems scared of otto, then catches otto smacking aegon around just before the fight. this one is all sweetness which is perfect if you're in the mood for that. i really loved the lucemond dynamic especially; i think it's a very realistic portrayal of the way two small kids would deal with the fallout of a violent incident like that.

when first we faced, and touching showed (how well we knew the early moves) by mrdcai -> rhaenyra pushes harder for jacaerys and helaena to marry, so alicent is forced to allow the two to spend time together to see if they suit. there's a heavy focus on romantic rhaenicent that i love in this one, and it’s also just (imo) well done in how the relationships all develop. i’m very fond of this one!

breakdowns by raybyanothername -> a bunch of aus where person a has a breakdown in front of person b and it avoids the dance. the pairings were really fun and interesting!!

a knight of the north by stevem1 -> au where the kingsguard do their goddamn duty and there’s midwives taking care of lyanna & baby jon. i love daynes, i love starks, this has daynes and starks. i wish it wasn’t just a one shot tho bc lyanna, ashara, and ned all in winterfell is so interesting to me.

main canon/canon compliant

even to the edge of doom by lilith_morgana -> rec-ed to me by @riana-one . joanna's life as she grows up, falls in love with tywin, has children, and then dies. i enjoyed it a lot, i thought it was a really great take on joanna as well as great way of depicting tywin.

before the day is done by crossingwinter -> ✨rec-ed to me by @allyriadayne . an overview of elaena targaryen’s life from her time in the maidenvault to her old age. i loved it a lot!!!! multi chapter AND focused on my girl, amazing ten stars out of five.

the queen of love and beauty by catelynstark956 -> ✨otherwise known as the harrenhal au where ned and catelyn meet at the harrenhal tourney and fall in love. i adore this fic sooooo much, so romantic, such a great read on the dynamics between everyone in the lead up to robert’s rebellion.

the dunk & egg universe by ariel2me -> ✨a bunch of ficlets set during the time where dunk & egg are traveling westeros together. i really liked it, got the more adventurous/humorous tone down very well.

post canon/twow speculation

in the midst of the ruins by iday -> jonsa fic, post war for the dawn. while living out his days out of sight and out of mind, jon gets a raven from winterfell with only two words: "come home." so he does. brienne and podrick are also there. very cute, contained little story, and an older jonsa fic.

varg-hamr/wolfskin by undercovercaptain -> a take on jon's ressurection and sansa as the girl in gray that i think is well done and also roughly what i predict will happen (leaving room for some crazy grrm-ness tho, obviously)

saw you in the snow by sleepingwithwolves -> another girl in gray esque take but with bran coming to sansa in a weirwood dream as well as jon. my soft spot is "bran helping his siblings through dreams" so!!

[raxistaicho]

Are we not Engaged... in bizarro world?

Spoilers under the cut.

-The bonus campaign has to carry the DLC hard. I’m not really impressed; the DLC maps are kinda sloggy and unfun and the DLC Emblems just snap the balance of the main game in half.

-Playing on Hard since I don’t know what to expect.

-Ring vault in ruins.

-Mopey woman being mopey and cryptic.

-Alear meets her opposite-gender self. Oh it’s opposite-gender Emblem Alear. I know he’s not the same gender as her but you think she’d notice the similarity.

-Not!Alear wants help, Alear agrees because it might help her get back something she lost.

-He wants her to gather the seven bracelets.

-Lol.

-Alear: Will we meet again?

-Not!Alear: No. We never met.

-I hate this cryptic shit, roflmao.

-Lol, Nil’s voice is goofily high-pitched.

-The twins aren’t happy to see the divine dragon for some reason.

-Alear died, world fucked.

-Nel’s REALLY unhappy to see Alear, roflmao.

-Nel has a “complicated history” with the Divine Dragon.

-Guess we’re getting Chrom first. The other six Emblems are gone.

-We’re getting an infoduuuuuump!

-Seems Sombron isn’t the only Fell Dragon.

-Divine Dragons and humans prayed for salvation, Emblems appeared. Nel and Nil were praying for more Emblems and got Alear instead.

-Lumera sacrificed herself to imprison Sombron.

-Alear of the alt world was Lumera’s successor and healed the world. Sombron returned and started another war. Alt Alear and Sombron mutual killed. World’s fucked now without a Divine Dragon.

-Some “unknown malefactor” is starting shit. They probably have two bracelets. The other four are scattered, in the hands of the four nations.

-Actually there’s been no war between the four nations, they’re just glaring at each other.

-Nel says we might be killing people who look familiar.

-Nel and Nil are fell dragons. Nel’s very angery.

-Lol, the game deadass cuts off them saying they’re fell dragons so that Nel can have a dramatic transformation. Nil can’t transform though.

-Nil’s dragon form is different from Sombron’s, she looks more like some kinda frilled lizard rather than a cobra. Neat.

-Oh my god this DLC campaign is a fucking disaster.

https://twitter.com/Raxistaicho2/status/1643436626511802368

-What if in Cindered Shadows, Edelgard and Claude got to be a Fortress Knight and a Wyvern but Dimitri and Ashe were a cavalier and an archer?

-Fuckin wolves everywhere.

-Sounds like the boss is Fogado. He has Tiki.

-Chapter 1 was pretty boring, it’s just a lot of wolves. Fuckin’ wolves everywhere.

-Villain escaped but what else is new in Engage.

-Alear doesn’t know the words to summon Tiki. Tiki tries to talk despite being being red. Nel puts Tiki to sleep so she can’t be used. Oh well, bye, Tiki.

-Since Tiki was summoned, the villain is probably a Fell Dragon, and thus probably Nel and Nil’s siblings.

-”Dragon power is unpredictable” lol handwave.

-Nel’s still bein’ a bitch.

-Nel and Nil are visiting Alt Alear’s grave.

-Sepia tone flashback, Nil’s sadge that he can’t turn into a dragon. Nel thinks he’ll be able to eventually. Nel gave Nil her dragonstone, he keeps it so she can transform. it’s sweet but eh.

-Alt Elyos is rotated for some reason.

-Cryptic woman being cryptic again.

-The sky’s fuckin’ blood red for some goddamn reason. Did Alt Alear’s death also fuck with the atmosphere?

-We’re getting Hector’s bracelet this time.

-Alt Firene are known for being ill-tempered. They’re “vengeful and quick to violence”. The way Nil talks it sounds like the Alt Firenese were already like this and the only thing that changed when Alt Alear died is they just stopped visiting Lythos.

-We’re meeting with a spy.

-Not Zephia is here! Wait, the fuck, Zelestia is a spy? Zelestia, the woman who looks like Zephia? She’d stick out in any fucking crowd.

-Zelestia was super sadge when Alt Alear died.

-Very fucking long cutscenes to emphasize Zelestia is the opposite of Zephia. Like I understand they don’t want to just pop her in but we don’t fucking care about Zelestia because we’re gonna know her for like an hour or two tops since I don’t think the not Hounds are in the main game.

-Oh yeah, Eve’s dead and Alfred is King. Alfred is indecisive. Celine’s angery. She wants to appease the dead by avenging themself on Brodia, and also Firene’s lands are failing so she wants to supplement their resources and stuff by taking over Brodia’s mining. OH NO, ALT CELINE IS DIMITRI.

-Still, going from Yellow Edelgard to Yellow Dimitri sounds about right.

-Celine wears the pants in alt world. She kinda takes herself hostage by saying she’ll attack alone if Alfred doesn’t help.

-Negotiations do not go well, and only get worse when Alear shows up. Alt Alfred and Celine think Alear is a Corrupted and get livid.

-Celine and Alfred have the corrupted tag. I think they’re Corrupted.

-Celine and Alfred snap out of their douchebaggery with a beating. They want to join, Nel says no. I think it’s ‘cause they’re Corrupted.

-Nel picks another fight with Alear on the way out, but it’s presented like an equal thing.

-Chapter 3 time!

-Alt Brodia hates war and is locking down their borders.

-We meet up with Alt Gris aka Gregory, who is also spying on Brodia despite being very distinctive in appearance.

-The Four Winds and the twins are used to running away from danger.

-Alcryst is a jerk. Diamant is a whimp.

-So the DLC is spending a lot of time just to show “hey, Gregory, Alcryst, and Diamant are being weiiiiiiiird”.

-Apparently if you get all 7 bracelets in their sleeping form you go:

-Battle on the Big Bridge!!!

-Oh thank god, the pre-12 units are promoted now. The campaign balance is a little less fucked but still pretty fucked.

-Lots of siege weapons. Ivy carrying hard. Zelestia is extremely good with Celine’s levin sword.

-Diamant summons Marth and Sigurd with Veronica but I just bop him and clear the map.

-Diamant and Alcryst don’t try to join, they just surrender and leave. Hmm. Oh also, they were Corrupted too.

-Flashback! Nel’s siblings chided her to kill Nil (I say do it, he’s beyond fucking useless) but she wigged out and killed them all. Sombron has a big “I’m so proud :’)” moment.

-Nel fucking kills the Brodia bros in secret, roflmao. I think it’s ‘cause they’re Corrupted. Oh, she killed Celine and Alfred, too.

-Since this game can’t hide its plot twists worth shit, I think this is a red herring made to make us think Nel is the evil one when it’s actually going to be Nil.

-We get

-Next to Elusia!

-And here’s Alt Marni! She’s not annoying. Mauvier’s also here. He’s the same as usual for some fucking reason.

-This time they’re not even bothering to give us a quick rundown on what Alt Elusia is like. Judging by how Firene and Brodia were you’d think they’d hate Sombron but nope, they want to resurrect him. Engage be consistent challenge: impossible.

-Alt Solm is attacking Elusia to stop them reviving Solm. That’s why Mauvier’s here. He scoots off to stop the Sombron revival rituation.

-In Alt World, Solm is a useful ally and Timerra isn’t annoying. Why are we fighting Alt Solm? I have no fucking idea! They’re trying to stop Sombron coming back!

-Alt Ivy really really loves herself. She deserves it!

-Oohhh, finally a 3-way battle.

-Oh nvm, Ivy’s gonna just bum rush me with some big fuck-off wyverns, thank you, Engage, very cool.

-They had to nerf Ivy’s Bolting because she fucking toast Nil’s worthless ass with it and I have no tools at all to stop it from happening.

-I fucking despise Nil so much.

-Okay so on to the characters... They all fucking suck.

Nil’s clearly faking his nice guy routine and even if he’s not he’s such a boring character done a thousand times “I’m so nice and supportive but gosh I hate being weak :((((((” that I don’t give a fuck about him.

Nel’s also boring, she was in love with Alt Alear but he died so now she’s sadge and mean and she picks fights with Alear and she loves her brother so huggy-buggy much

The Four Winds are just character-flopped Four Hounds... except Mauvier who is literally just the same dude from the main game it seems.

Also, every other character is just their main game self with their traits flipped around. Merrin hates animals, Ivy is very proud and cruel, Alcryst is confident but an ass, and so on and so forth. This didn’t have anything to do with Alt Alear dying either; it seems like he died like a couple years ago at most, so it’s not like the world got worse without a Divine Dragon to guide them: Alear was THERE for a millenia and the only thing that happened when he died was the countries started doubting each other, but it’s not like him dying was what made Alcryst an asshole or Celine stupid and vicious and it didn’t make Brodia very defensive or Firene a climate-collapsed hellhole with a bloody sky.

This DLC is weirdly meshing an AU and mirror dimension situation but the AU didn’t cause the mirror dimension and if anything the mirror dimension situation just emphasizes how pointless the AU event changes are.

As for the gameplay, it’s really poorly tuned, I feel. Madeline is tanky but she can’t hit shit, but Zelestia and Gregory are both really good (Zelestia is basically what if Ivy traded staffs for more speed, hit, and luck, Gregory has gigantic magic), but Nel is kinda whatever aside from finishing kills and Nil is just actively terrible.

There’s very little differentiation between main story unit builds here aside from what you gave them in the main story (they retain Emblems and skills, but you aren’t going to make a build just for Xenalogue play, I doubt), and everyone’s inventory is very very samey aside from a few things like Celine having a Levin Sword that promptly gets taken from her. You don’t get a very big party but there’s lots of enemies to deal with.

Oh well that’s 4/6 chapters down. NOT enjoying it. Rest soon.

[cuefog]

tog/khunbam fic rec

this is for @cannottranslate​ because you asked for it and i am grateful for the excuse to make a fic rec post

i expect this will be a long post so i’ll put it under read ↓ 

i’ll be leaving my own thoughts and comments under each fic (im sorry in advance for rambling too much)!! if you want the full summary and other info please click on the link provided lol

!!webtoon spoilers beware!!

♡ = one of my favourites

canon timeline

(these will be the ones that are set in the canon world and follow major plot events, even if there some changes in the details and relationships)

♡ deep sea blue by Feyren ♡

please read everything written by feyren!!!! lovely prose, wonderfully written khunbam emotional tension. khun braiding his beautiful hair accompanied by symbolism and perfectly crafted metaphor. bonus earrings.

♡ hollow moons by NoteInABottle ♡

please also read everything by noteinabottle!! equally lovely prose, wonderfully written khunbam emotional tension. khun wearing earrings and giving them to bam, accompanied by lots of symbolism and perfectly crafted metaphor. you could probably consider this a companion fic to feyren’s deep sea blue. both of these fics gave me a Thing for khun’s earrings (>_<;)``

take my hand (take my whole life too) by RadiantAshe

our dear ashe has written lots of great stuff but i think this is my favourite!! so much khunbam softness, very classic s3 vibes <33

Chestnuts at Nighttime by khunfounded (ongoing)

khun with a cat who loves him very much, and vice versa. that’s all the explanation you need. this fic overloads my heart with cute soft fluffy feelings!!! (bonus khun and bam dolls with little hands made of velcro so they can hold each other’s hands (ʘ‿ʘ✿) please i can’t take any more of this, somebody help my heart is gonna explode)

a thousand paths to you by LiannaAila

set during the time of khun’s coma. bam travels to a parallel universe and meets an alive and awake khun. this fic is exactly what it says it is and it’s so lovely <3

oh no he’s hot (and other earth-shattering revelations) by Bird_of_Dreams

tldr; bam being thirsty over khun

khun aguero agnis and his growing competency kink by chuuyaya

tldr; khun being thirsty over bam

motion by smokeandwaves (rated Explicit)

set during hell train, khunbam focused. this one is really popular in the fandom!! it’s well written, and if you consider smut a genre i would say this is the best one in the tog tag. lots of emotions, and a wonderful flow of feeling!! also it has a few sequel fics in the series, ‘obedience’ in particular being all about sub!khun,, which is,, (*ﾉωﾉ)

sometimes when i look into your eyes i pretend you're mine by agueros (minamis)

residents of the tower ship jue viole grace and khun aguero agnis and write fanfiction about them (i love these types of fics lmao)

From: Khun by AngrySheepProject  and To you who lies with my heart under the sea by Strawbellie666 (ongoing)

khun messaging bam’s pocket when he thought he was dead in s2

canon divergence + future canonverse

(future fics means it’s set in the future of the current canon, which at the nest arc rn)

♡ A World Without You by Breaking_Formation ♡

this one might be my favourite out of all of them. i know it says major character death but it happens in the beginning and there’s a promised happy ending so don’t worry!!! this one is a beautiful 20k word masterpiece.... seriously..... this fic is set after the nest arc, it has lots of Plot and plays around with the world and the lore of the Tower, so it’s already fascinating that way, but the real heart of the story is in the emotions!! if you love witnessing khun’s endless devotion to bam, this is the fic that shows you that devotion reflected right back at khun. it might bring you to tears :’)

♡ Our Hearts Are Made of Stars by Ruinous ♡ (ongoing)

out of the 5 or so other time travel au fics in the tog fandom, this one is definitely my favourite!! time travel aus are all super fun to read, but this one stood out to me especially because it hits all the right spots!! it’s written well and i love the level of foresight, and the emotions detailed into this, it really feels like the friendships and bonds are at the heart of this story and all the fighting stuff will turn out just fine, and everything will be ok :)

♡ enough by Feyren ♡

future fic, set in a cocktail party on the 87th floor. this is so well written!!!!! again, please just read everything written by feyren. the prose is wonderful and everything going on in this fic feels so well-crafted and carefully executed with just the right amount of subtlety in all the emotions. i think it’s gorgeous.

fire and ice by soundscape (ongoing)

set vaguely in the future. still ongoing, and the story feels like it’s just started, but very intriguing plot!! premise is people trying to separate khun from bam + the team trying to deal with shady fug plots

dig down deep by milkywxy (ongoing)

this one is a plotty one!! diverges from canon at the hidden floor arc. bam decides not to let rachel go with them. im super interested to see where this story goes!!

where the current leaves us by macrauchenia (ongoing)

this one is a Plotty one, still in the early stages of plot development but the premise is super interesting!! basically khun takes bam’s place in the bubble with rachel, during the administrator’s test on the 2nd floor. i’m excited to see where this story goes :D

special mentions for “bam climbs the tower” remix concept fics that you might like to check out (this is for you dango, since you said you like togverse canon divergence :D)

Moonlight by Shadow_to_rant (ongoing, khun meets bam in cave instead of rachel)

Timeless Existence by Jazebeth (Barrattiel) (ongoing, time travel au series)

Second Chance by Shadow_to_rant (ongoing, time travel au)

Never Let You Go by eternus (ongoing, time travel au)

Il Principe by euludey (ongoing, bam with different backstory/origins)

Night Never Falls by TripleTurtles (ongoing, au where rachel doesn’t succeed at pushing bam off the bubble on the 2nd floor)

Child of Arlene by MoodleNoodle (ongoing, bam is adopted by jahad before canon timeline)

au

♡ the king and his lionheart by chuuyaya ♡

khunbam royalty au with bam as king, khun as a genius war strategist. bonus pda in front of a whole courtroom. what more could you want?? this was soooo satisfying to read, i enjoyed it a lot :D (please also check out chuuyaya’s other fics if you like khunbam aus!!)

if there's anything in this life ive been waiting for (its you) by trueaguero (ongoing)

fascinating au where everyone is outside the tower and the tower is part of history. perhaps you could call this a “post-tower au” ?

if my heart was a house by The_Winged_Warrior

very cute magical fantasy au!! khun runs a potion shop and bam is an adventurer

aus are pretty self explanatory so i’ll put the rest in a list:

you are the magic in me by silverinerivers (ongoing, hogwarts au)

hope and legacy by chuuyaya (figure skating au)

♡ jump then fall (i'll catch you) by agueros (minamis) ♡ (figure skating au, consider it a prequel to ‘hope and legacy’, this is a beautiful 13k-word love letter to figure skating <3)

of social media and turtles by chuuyaya (celeb au with social media bits)

i am the last olympian by argenteas (percy jackson au)

who else is there to love but you? by khuns (college au, very soft pining!!)

Lucky coin by bothersomepotato (ongoing, college business majors au)

Greedy Turtles by Alien_ships (ongoing, on the surface it seems like just a pet shop au but there’s a lot of care and attention paid to the characters and relationship dynamics :D)

and i will come to you at every first snow by aguerobaam (khun is a magical doll in a toy store)

the heart heist by paused (ongoing, cyberpunk au)

khun special category

(it’s all about khun here)

♡ all the blue in the world won’t do, without you by NoteInABottle ♡ (ongoing)

multichapter fic set on khun eduan’s 111th floor!! if you’re too impatient to wait for the khun family arc, you should just read this fic. it’s still ongoing as of the time i made this post but it’s already looking to have all the elements i want out of a khun family arc. it’s written so so well too!! noteinabottle is one of my favourite tog authors :D

Brothers and sisters, I'm an atomic bomb by gleek_runner (ongoing series)

a wonderfully well written series of fics focusing on interactions between members of the khun family!!!! im just a sucker for the khun kids and im always starving for khun family content

He Wonders if He Still Breathes by Chocolatesandblood

khun and ran interactions!!

putting his resolve to the test. by soundscape

khun and hachuling interactions!!

Autumn Angel by XprincessxofxspadesX

khunbam meets maria and a series of complicated and fascinating interactions occurs. this was very nice to read ;w;

[bae-leth]

Okay with all the talk about Natalia and Artemis pulling an Awakening of sorts and going back in time to their dads’ academy days, I gotta write up a little something about this. I’ll stick with scenario A: the kids ending up in an Azure Moon past and scenario B: them ending up in a Verdant Wind past. I’ll stay away from the kids ending up in a Crimson Flower past because it’ll be kinda complicated and also I think that would be a little too traumatizing for these poor babies (as if me launching them into AM and VW won’t traumatize them lol). *okay hopefully Tumblr didn’t eat this and it actually went through this time*

For how the kids end up in the past let’s just say Natalia and Artemis went on recon mission together and happened to accidentally come across a long abandoned secret Agarthan facility. While exploring it they accidentally end up triggering a magic trap. Artemis attempts to use his own magic to dispel it but it reacts strangely. Next thing they know, the kids are waking up on the ground in a field within eyesight of Garreg Mach Monastery. Yeah it’s contrived but how they got there isn’t the big thing here.

Other general stuff to note! For this adventure let’s have Natalia be 18 years old and Artemis is 15 years old. Their dads still wield the Hero Relics so the kids don’t have them and their mounts (Natalia’s horse Ares and Artemis’ wyvern Altena) didn’t come back with them. Less stuff for the kids to have to explain away but still makes things annoying for them, especially since they still have to deal with their Crests.

Also, to make things just a bit less horrible for them, while Natalia and Artemis are stuck in the past for the five years of the game’s story, five years aren’t passing in their original timeline. It’s more like an adjustment of one year in the past equals like a month in their proper timeline. And while they are in the past, they’re not aging. It’s like they’ve been “removed from the flow of time”, more or less. Still experiencing things as they come but they themselves aren’t aging or changing during this time (another annoying thing to try and explain away while they’re stuck in the past). This is because I didn’t want them to lose out on five whole years of their lives. Also because I didn’t want to put poor Dimitri and Felix through having their kids vanish for five damn years. They just get to go through the horror of wondering where their kids disappeared to for five months instead.

Natalia and Artemis claim to be “a pair of siblings who are simply travelling the continent” and that’s usually enough for most people to leave them alone. Plus it helps that Garreg Mach and the academy often get visitors, so having strangers show up isn’t too weird. But the pair of them still stick out since they have that air of being far more noble than they come across and you darn well better believe they were closely watched for a long time before people realized they meant no harm.

Stuff gets especially difficult when the pair occasionally help out in battles and their Crests activate (let’s say the glowy symbol effect is something that you physically see and not just a game mechanic). That is far more difficult to explain away since while enough time has passed since the age of the Ten Elites that Crests can appear practically anywhere, the Blaiddyd and Fraldarius Crests have never before been seen outside of their respective family lines. However a good enough argument is made that it very much is possible that the pair simply have distant (lol) Blaiddyd and Fraldarius blood in them and so they just so happened to inherit the Crests. Sylvain gets a lot of mileage out of teasing Dimitri and Felix over this whole thing while Natalia and Artemis try not to laugh like awkward dummies.

Natalia and Artemis being so excited to see young versions of their dads and their uncles and aunts from the Blue Lions. And a younger, far less expressive version of Byleth!

“Oh goddess, Artemis, I just realized I’m technically older than Father and Papa, they’re both only 17 right now!” “Papa ages really gracefully, he barely looks different than he does in our time. But seeing Father with short hair and two eyes is so odd.”

“Uncle Ashe and Aunt Annette have such round cheeks!” “I can’t get used to Aunt Mercedes or Aunt Ingrid with such long hair!” “Was Uncle Sylvain always this much of a flirt? I thought the stories were exaggerating.” “Uncle Dedue keeps looking so sternly at us. We didn’t even do anything this time!”

“Professor never smiles or anything. I heard he used to be really expressionless, but I didn’t realize it was to this extent.” “I’m just glad that the ‘Professor’ nickname has stuck in our time, at least we can call one person what we usually call them.”

Ingrid legit thinks Sylvain is dying or something because Natalia is a pretty young lady yet Sylvain has yet to make a move on her.

“Ingrid you don’t get it, every time I try it feels like I’m gonna throw up! It’s like hitting on a family member!” “Oh so this is going too far but when you hit on my poor granny-” “Would you let that go already?!”

Dimitri and Felix are going through a lot because they don’t understand why they feel so attached to Natalia and Artemis. Dimitri tries to reason that when he was younger he always wanted siblings and the pair are rather attached to him and Felix so it’s something like that. Doesn’t account for just how protective and doting he is on them though. Meanwhile there’s always whispers about how easily Felix lets the siblings stick by him and he’s so annoyed because “why the hell are they constantly trying to get me and the boar prince to spend time together????”

Byleth also has a soft spot for them and the kids have the easiest time with him since interactions with Byleth aren’t that different from their interactions in their own time.

You know that one monk who says Dedue probably had something to do with Flayn’s kidnapping? Natalia totally decks him in the face when she hears him say that. When the guy tries to complain, Artemis turns up the charm and has everyone believing him when he says that of course his dear big sister would never do something so terrible, and so Natalia gets off scot free.

When it comes to Edelgard Artemis has mixed feelings because he knows about how she starts the war and all she does but at the same time he remembers the bittersweet expression on his father’s face the few times he spoke of her. Meanwhile Natalia is distant and wants nothing to do with Edelgard, knowing all the pain she caused the people Natalia loves.

It’s interesting for the pair to see Claude, since the Claude they know is a lot more open about his true feelings. Still talks circles around them all and savvy as ever, but more honest with himself and those he considers close. Claude is also the one who is most curious about the siblings’ mysterious origins (well other than Hanneman who wants to know all he can for his Crest research)

Artemis causes quite a stir when he goes around slinging magic from the back of a wyvern he borrowed from the stables, forgetting that magic wielding wyvern riders are not gonna be a thing for another few decades. He’s just lucky he managed to borrow the most chill wyvern in the stables because any other wyvern would’ve thrown him off if he tried that with them.

So hey wanna imagine how fucking scared the kids are when the Holy Tomb incident occurs and they see Dimitri crush two guys’ skulls?

Their father doesn’t like to talk about the full details of the darkest time in his life, when his mental state was at its lowest. But he was also rather honest with the kids, telling them that he had done many things that were horrifying, that can’t be easily forgiven, if at all. Natalia and Artemis thought they understood but seeing their father breaking down before their eyes is completely different from the stories they were told.

Natalia doesn’t know how to talk to Dimitri about this so she lets Artemis handle him. Artemis is good at just being a comforting presence, knowing when to stay back and when to sit close. Knowing when to say something and when to listen. Natalia chooses to stick by Felix, arguing with him about how harsh he’s being towards Dimitri. Her own fierce and stubborn nature means she can hold her own against Felix. When she sees a rare flash of vulnerability on Felix’s face she understands that, more than anyone, he didn’t want things to turn out like this for Dimitri.

In the years that pass Natalia and Artemis argue a lot over how much they should interfere. This is the Blue Lions’ past so they know what’s going to happen but they can’t agree on whether or not to say anything. Do they try to stop Edelgard’s war? Do they try to warn someone? But how and when? They know where Dimitri disappeared to after his “execution” should they tell someone? But what if things change too much? What if they make things worse? What if what they’re doing has some effect on their own time? Is it selfish to not want to risk their future, their loved ones?

Okay that’s as much as I have to say about the AM version, so let’s talk more about the kids being sent to a VW past.

The kids are so confused when they see Byleth teaching the Golden Deer. What does this mean? Is this an alternate past? But then how will they know what’s going to happen? Will things really change that much if Byleth is teaching another house?

Their confusion only doubles when, a few months later, Felix transfers to the Golden Deer. Natalia confronts him about this but Felix states that Byleth is good with a sword and he wants to learn from him, there’s nothing more to it.

“You’re not running from Dimitri, are you?” “…Why’re you so invested? You and that brother of yours are just a pair of strangers who keep making everyone else’s business your own.”

Artemis keeps a close eye on Dimitri throughout the year, wondering if perhaps Byleth being with another house will make a positive change for Dimitri. Of course Artemis doesn’t want to lose the important bond between Byleth and the Blue Lions, between Byleth and him and Natalia. But…if this can provide a benefit to his father…

But no, Dimitri still falls apart, slowly but steadily. The war still comes. But now Natalia and Artemis are faced with he horror of their father going down separate paths. Felix going to the Leicester Alliance after Faerghus falls and Dimitri still missing. So the kids make a painful decision, a scary one they’re only making because they don’t know what else to do.

Natalia follows Felix to Leicester. Artemis sets out to find Dimitri. Natalia tries to convince Felix to search for Dimitri, to return to Faerghus. Dimitri flips between ignoring Artemis and barely tolerating his presence. Natalia is at her wit’s end, not knowing how Dimitri or Artemis are doing in this strange timeline. Artemis is so desperately lonely, even with Dimitri with him, not knowing how Natalia and Felix are doing.

Everything falls apart on Gronder Field. In the chaos of the three-way battle, Natalia and Artemis lose track of their dads. But they find each other, seeing each other again for the first time in years. Their reunion is emotional, a small bright spot in this horrifying war. But then they have to find their dads.

By the time they locate Dimitri and Felix, the pair are in combat and it’s vicious. Natalia, frustrated and scared that she’s gonna watch her beloved dads murder each other, rushes in, using her own lance to break them apart. As she keeps a furious Felix held back, Dimitri uses the distraction to go look for Edelgard while Artemis rushes after him.

“Where are you going?!” “I must kill that woman. She’ll die by my hands alone!” “You’re too hurt! You’ll die! Please stop this!” “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side all these years. If you don’t like this, then leave me!”

“Why did you stop us?” “Because you’re both idiots! Absolute idiots! How can you fight each other, try to kill each other?!” “He’s nothing but a beast now. It’s how he is.” “It’s not! It’s not…Neither of you, none of this, is supposed to be like this!”

Artemis loses track of Dimitri for a short time in the crowds but it’s long enough. By the time he finds Dimitri again, the prince is on the ground, impaled by so many spears. Dying.

Artemis screams and sobs and throws himself on Dimitri, begging him not to die. He can’t keep up the façade in this moment, seeing his father dying, even if it’s not the same father he knows.

“Father!!! Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die! Don’t leave me, Father! You can’t do this to me! To us!! Please please please!!!!”

In Dimitri’s last moments, the fog in his mind clears and the voices quiet down just enough that Dimitri realizes what Artemis is screaming. And although he doesn’t have all the information, knows it’s bizarre, in his heart he realizes it’s true, that it explains certain things. Artemis is…And the girl, Natalia…Meaning Felix…is…He must be, there could be no other who Dimitri would ever…

“…I’m…so sorry…”

Natalia hears her brother’s distant scream and runs, Felix following close behind because even though the girl is strange and annoying he couldn’t bear it if she died (but why does he feel that way?). They arrive just in time for Felix’s world to crash around him. Just in time to hear Dimitri’s soft and weak apology, to see Artemis clutching Dimitri’s dead body and sobbing hysterically against his chest. Just in time for Natalia to fall to her knees, tears streaming down her face, as she whispers “Father”.

Welp, I that’s enough there too. So let’s get into the last bit. How the heck poor Dimitri and Felix are doing with their kids missing.

Soldiers return to Fhirdiad with Ares and Altena but without their riders. The soldiers explain to Dimitri and Felix that they found the pair of mounts exhausted but doing their best to race to Fhirdiad. There’s no sign of the crown princess or the prince.

The search for Natalia and Artemis is done covertly at first because the panic that would spread across Fodlan if it was revealed that both of the royal children have disappeared would be too great. But as weeks go on with no sign of the kids, word ends up getting out.

Dimitri is beside himself, wondering if someone from his past hoping for revenge has done something to the children. If they’ve been hurt or worse because of his own actions, he’d never forgive himself for as long as he lives. Felix has to divide himself between preventing Dimitri from spiraling downwards and worrying over what happened to Natalia and Artemis.

All of the Blue Lions are hard at work looking for the kids, Byleth himself getting involved too (and the times when he can’t he sends plenty of Knights of Seiros to go looking in his place). Dimitri asks for help from Claude as time goes by, who offers all the help he can. But there’s no sign of the children. No sign of any battles, of any kidnappings, nothing…

After a couple months pass some of the royal advisors get together to talk about the search. They decide it may be better to speak with Felix first. So they bring Felix to a private area and tell him the truth. About how it’s been two months, with no ransoms, no sightings of the children, nothing to suggest they were taken. And Natalia and Artemis are both strong and capable enough that if they could escape from whatever situation they were in they would have by now. The advisors say it’s probably time to start thinking that perhaps they children may be dead.

Dimitri rushes into the room at the sound of yelling and sees the advisors crowding on the ground around another advisor whose nose was clearly broken and gushing blood. Felix stood above him with his fists clenched, angrier than Dimitri had ever seen him in all their years.

“If you have time to talk to me about your bullshit theories, you have time to get out there and search!”

More months pass and it’s common sentiment among many citizens that Natalia and Artemis are most likely dead, there’s been so sightings of them, no word from them. But everyone knows better than to say anything within earshot of any Blue Lions, the Archbishop, or the royal couple.

But Dimitri is breaking down as more months pass. And Felix, for all his fierce nature and stubbornness, is falling apart too. Dimitri spends so much time in Natalia and Artemis’ rooms when he’s not working himself to near death while Felix only ever stays in the castle long enough to make sure Dimitri is well and the kingdom’s affairs are running well before leaving to follow a new lead.

No one will say it out loud but the worry is spreading. That if Natalia and Artemis aren’t found, or…if their bodies aren’t found, that neither Dimitri nor Felix will last much longer. That after all the work and pain that went into bringing peace back to Fodlan and helping it progress, it was all going to fall apart.

Okay that’s a lot of depressing stuff so let’s end this on a high note.

After five months pass, Natalia and Artemis come home. Or Dimitri and Felix finally find them. The royal pair find the mysterious Agarthan facility just as a strange light comes from within. When they go in, they find Natalia and Artemis standing up, together, alive, looking no different than the day they vanished five months ago.

Dimitri and Felix are both frozen in shock but the second Natalia and Artemis lock eyes with their dads they both let out shouts and sobs and basically tackled their dads to the ground in a massive group hug, sobbing the whole time.

Neither Natalia nor Artemis have ever seen Dimitri or Felix cry, especially as much as they were doing so in that moment. But they could laugh about that later. The family was all together again. That’s all that truly mattered.

“Welcome home.” “We’re back.”

—————–

notes from bae:

I’M SCREAMING INTO THE VOID. THESE ARE SO GOOD AND SO SO HEARTBREAKING I’VE BEEN TORN TO PIECES

immediately upon reading the first bits i could tell that my heart was going to be broken because a) azure moon hurts enough on its OWN, and b) i don’t think i will ever get over dimitri’s ending in vw. and all of felix’s endings without him just spell Misery anyway, so seeing Artemis break down over him?? EXPECTED but also??? Artemis??? my sweet sunshine son oh my GOD i am so UPSET!! that entire scene with dimitri’s last words to his son got me. crying in a pool of tears

and i don’t even want to touch CF without at least ten mins worth of prep time, jfc. knowing what happens to unrecruited Felix & co in Arianrhod, and then what happens over at Tailtean, would absolutely break the two of them :( not to mention the even worse scenario of watching CF!Felix unfold…. gosh. ouch.

The mental image of watching Natalia and Artemis trying to explain away their crests is so funny to me…. just: “Our Crests? Uh - we’re… distant descendants of the Elites! Very… filtered down.” “Not at all related to your bloodlines :) (Natalia you’re giving us away stop snickering-!)

SYLVAIN BEING UNABLE TO FLIRT WITH NATALIA YES i remember reading this in an earlier submission and it still makes me laugh :’) and awww… their reactions to their younger aunts/uncles make my heart warm. especially Dedue LMAOO ‘THIS TIME’ WHAT DO THEY PUT THE POOR MAN THROUGH IN THEIR OG TIMELINE….. you kids….!

DIMA AND FELIX WITH THOSE PROTECTIVE INSTINCTS…! you calling Dimitri 'doting’ is doing a number on my heart. Does he make sure they eat and sleep properly? Put them out of harm’s way in battle? Go to bed and wonder why on earth he feels this urge to keep them safe all the time?? Does Felix do the same, but in his own Felix-y way? Do the others stop in awe as they watch him conversing in a normal fashion with the two? I need detais, this is all good food.

Artemis nearly starting a new trend decades early? Natalia decking that racist piece of garbage. good. GOOD. look at them, they’re already creating positive change in the world, and it’s not even their world! i’m so proud of them

you’re right, the holy tomb scene would be absolutely terrifying for them :( but i’m glad they both manage to track down and stay with DImitri and Felix in their own way. VW on the other hand….. OUCH….. OH NO….. them watching Byleth go off and leave the Lions, knowing that he normally has a soft spot for them and their fathers, so what happened? THat must be heartbreaking :(

and then THAT REUNION ON GRONDER FIELD.  “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side all these years. If you don’t like this, then leave me!” - NOOOOO THE DRAMATIC IRONY… DELICIOUS YET PAINFUL…. and then Artemix’ breakdown??? IVE ALREADY SAID THIS BUT YOU RIPPED MY HEART TO SHREDS. DIMITRI REALISING TOO LATE? S H R E D S I TELL YOU

and ofc, in the normal world, you’ve got two parents sick with worry about their missing kids…. Dimitri and Felix really went through it, didn’t they :( They must’ve been in a horrible state. imagining a Dimitri that’s barely hanging on & absolutely blaming himself (even though he’s done nothing wrong!) and a Felix that’s trying to keep it together but fraying at the edges…. i am so so glad they get the happy ending they dESERVE. let this family be happy! let the kids get the scolding of their lives before they all collapse into one big group hug. 

thank you so much for this submission, it made my NIGHT. fraldarddyd family au never fails to make me smile!!

[jo2ukes]

Hello! I’m hildahilda from tumblr and I saw you taking prompt requests for 50 ways to love your partner (which has become one of my fave dmileth fics). May I suggest... Dimitri and Byleth debating/arguing over political concerns or having long horse rides together? Just getting these ideas from their paired ending lol. Thank you!

HELLO LOVELY!!! Aaa your comments are always so sweet i always look forward to reading what you have to say slkdfjslkd  thank u for requesting smth ilysm~

I’m SO SORRY this took so long - I’ve been working on it off and on, but I slacked off too much at work last week so things kind of blew up and I’ve been living off of energy drinks. THAT BEING SAID, this is for YOU!!! I’m gonna upload to ao3 later as well, just not rn bc I’m at work lol :-)

spoilers for like. post game and blue lions stuff, though i tried to be pretty vague!

It was never typical for diplomatic meetings to go smoothly. Not that Dimitri is naïve enough to expect them to be easy. Even in times of peace, there are always areas for improvement. Dissatisfactions to be addressed. Relationships to maintain. Something about having his work cut out for him makes these meetings easier – though solving the issues are certainly more time consuming. Uniting Fódlan has been no small undertaking and he is grateful for all the assistance he receives from his friends. He is painfully aware that destruction is his forte – his hands and mind have only recently been converted to the goal of healing and restoration. To lead, you have to be able to both destroy and create, Byleth has told him. She’s right. United Fódlan and the relative peace they have now wouldn’t exist had he not destroyed Edelgarde and her dissenting Imperial forces. While the beast in him once relished in the idea of putting an end to El’s machinations, taking her life was one of the most painful trials he’s had to endure. The perspective motivates him. Encourages him to listen to his people and create a world where no destruction is needed, where no one is unjustly taken.

 He constantly reminds himself of this goal. It makes the sleepless nights worth it.

 The current roundtable has gone on for hours at least – Ferdinand, Lorenz, Byleth, Seteth and a handful of other nobles – mostly from former Faerghus territories – are in attendance. Unofficially, Ferdinand speaks for nobles of former Imperial territories, while Lorenz speaks for former Alliance territories. They’ve been instrumental in the restructuring efforts. While the three of them were not particularly close before, Dimitri counts them among his close friends now.

 “I hate to mention it on top of everything else,” Ferdinand bites his lip, “but there’s one last item I feel needs to be addressed before we adjourn. We’ve had trouble with the Western Church in the Aegir territory. We’ve repelled a few initial attacks. At first we thought it was bandits, but… well, we’ve confirmed the worst. Normally, my pride would never allow asking for assistance, but with our resources and attention spread out as it is, namely correcting my father’s corruption, I’m not sure this is a matter I can handle solely on my own. I don’t want to cause any more chaos in my territory than need be.”

 “You are correct to bring it up,” Dimitri says, furrowing his brow. “Aegir territory is a long way to go to cause trouble.”

 “If the Western Church is mobilizing again, it will certainly affect the trade routes we’ve established,” Lorenz observes. “The few merchants that can afford to travel certainly can’t afford losses to their inventory or company. Our trade routes are the most vulnerable. As former Imperial lands are in the most chaos, what with the complete restructuring needed post-war., it makes sense the Western Church, whatever their goals may be, would seek to cause disruptions there. If we truly seek to provide aid and maintain good relations with the nobles in the south, surely this conflict requires more attention. Wouldn’t you agree?” He looks back at Ferdinand.

 “Respectfully, yes,” Ferdinand nods solemnly. “Though, I understand the Central and Western Churches have their summit planned later this month, which surely makes matters precarious.”

 Eyes turn to Byleth and Seteth.

 “You are correct,” Seteth nods, addressing the nobles. “We are aware certain sects of the Western Church are mobilizing, though we had not heard of any activity in the Aegir territory. You can trust the matter will be dealt with. Her Grace has asked that I lead a fraction of the Knights of Seiros to investigate these disturbances while she attends the summit later this month. Ashe wrote to us several weeks ago, disclosing Western Church movements in the Gaspard territory once again. Since then, we’ve been keeping a watchful eye.”

 “How watchful, if they are mobilizing in areas you are not aware of?” Lorenz asks. “Your Grace, your Highness, I know the Church is quite busy with restructuring efforts, but perhaps it would be wise to focus more resources in this area.” He taps his upper lip thoughtfully. “Perhaps if we sent forces that were not affiliated with the Church it wouldn’t complicate things at the summit. The Western Church can feel safe in trusting the Central Church, and the people can feel safe that something is being done about these attacks.”

 “I agree,” Dimitri hums after a beat. “Very well. Seteth, I want you to take some of Fhirdiad’s knights with you. As things are a little more stable in the capital than anywhere else, it is less of a burden on our resources. Ingrid and her company should be available, I believe. I’ll send word they’re to accompany you back to the monastery. I’ll want to be kept in the loop, of course.”

 “With all due respect, your Majesty,” Byleth says, clearing her throat, and breaking her silence, “this is a Church affair. While I appreciate your offer for assistance, we must decline.”

 “On the contrary,” Dimitri shakes his head, “It stopped being a Church affair when it started threatening to plunge all of United Fódlan into another war, your Grace. These are not random attacks, they seem rather targeted.”

 “The Western Church simply does not have the resources or manpower to launch a full-scale war,” she shakes her head. “I do not believe that is their intention this time. They’re recovering just the same as the rest of Fódlan. If you’ll remember, the last time the Western Church created conflicts, there was a larger power at play. As relations with the Western Church are already delicate at best, I’d ask that you let us investigate internally first, at least until the summit has concluded. A month’s time, that’s all I’m asking.”

 “It is not that I distrust your ability to manage your own, I simply wish to prevent further harm to the already suffering villages.”

 “I understand your concern, your Highness. My wishes are the same,” she straightens her back, looking him square in the eye. She looks truly regal and imposing. For a moment Dimitri thinks it’s a shame the others get to observe her in her authoritative splendor, that it’s not a look only he can witness. But the thought only lasts a moment – he’s more than familiar with that determined glint in her eye. He’s in for a fight.

 “However,” she continues, “I cannot hope to restore faith in the Church if we are constantly shown to be unable to handle our own. Say what you will, but Edelgarde’s war has damaged the Church’s reputation, strengthened seeds of distrust. Whether that distrust was well-placed or not is of no consequence. The reputation of the Church must be restored. Through transparency, through rooting out corruption and self-serving officials, so be it, but it must be handled by the Church. We’ve only just concluded a war built on that same distrust – what message would it send if the King had to step in? How would that offer any reassurance to the people that things are different?”

 “You suggest, then, that the people will be more willing to accept the Church should be allowed to continue to govern its own?” he asks, folding his arms.

 “I’m suggesting we be given a chance to prove ourselves. If the leaders cannot trust the Church, the people cannot hope to hold the same faith.”

 “It is a risk,” Ferdinand interjects, “but I believe Her Grace has a point. Restoring faith in the Church should be a priority, and that task begins with our actions here.”

 Lorenz and Seteth both begin to speak, but whatever they start to say is lost to Dimitri and he focuses on his wife’s voice, rising above the others. When she and Dimitri disagree on topics, the others in the room cease to exist to the two of them. While they do not always agree, he trusts her above all else. He respects and values her opinion, as she has led him down the right path time and time again.

 “Rather than bandaging a severed limb,” Byleth continues, “We should treat the root of the problem. I believe this is not the Western Church, but some unnamed force. Without revealing too much of my own hand, I have reason to believe Edelgarde’s… unsavory allies may have resurfaced.”

 “Is this truly information that should be held by the Church alone?”

 “For the time being, yes,” Byleth nods. “As you said, we do not want to cause further damage to those that are already suffering. Mobilizing too early may do just that. Again, a month is all I ask.”

 “If Ingrid and her company were instead mobilized to the Aegir territory to assist in repelling potential attacks in the meantime, would that be sufficient?” Dimitri asks. It’s more of a thought than a command. He’s willing to let Byleth win this round as he can’t begin to fathom some of the complications that come with running the Church. He takes an interest, supporting her how he can. In private, she tells him of her duties and concerns – an odd topic of conversation for pillow talk, but he likes that she trusts him with some of her burdens and worries, as she’s helped him shoulder his own for so long.

 His main goal is to protect the people. Byleth has always been better at keeping her attention toward the future, while his attention is usually focused on the short term. Perhaps it’s one of the reasons their compromises work so well. Sending troops to assist Ferdinand would fulfill his intention of keeping the villagers safe, at least until the end of the summit. Not to mention, the increase in feelings of unity.

“I have no qualms with that solution,” Byleth says, a smile forming at the corners of her mouth.

 “We would be grateful for your assistance,” Ferdinand addresses Dimitri, giving a slight bow of his head. “I’m humbled, your Majesty.”

 “It’s settled then. I will pass word along to Ingrid,” he scribbles a note for himself. “In the meantime, perhaps we should adjourn for the evening?”

 A collective sigh of relief seems to spread throughout the hall. The various lords stand, bowing to Dimitri before exiting, ready to rest and enjoy the few hours of downtime they have before meetings resume again the next morning, servants coming to escort them to their various rooms. Ferdinand and Lorenz excuse themselves as well, familiar enough with the castle they feel comfortable roaming the halls without guidance.

 Once the room is empty, Dimitri turns to his wife who stands behind him.

 “I thought that went rather well,” he says, offering his hand. She takes it. “Though the Archbishop seems quite determined to give me a hard time,” he jokes. She squeezes his hand gently.

 “You’ll have to forgive her, your Majesty. I hear she’s rather stubborn,” she smiles up at him before standing on her tiptoes and placing a kiss on his cheek.

 “If that is official guidance from my Queen, I suppose I shall take it under advisement,” he laughs. The two of them walk hand in hand through the corridors. “You’re sure the investigation into the Western Church won’t be difficult for you, beloved? I worry about your safety.”

 “I can’t promise the investigation won’t come without dangers,” she replies truthfully, “but I will exercise caution. I have Seteth watching out for me.” She sighs, her mood immediately lightening, “At any rate, that’s enough talk of politics and official business. I asked Cyril to saddle the horses before sundown. If I haven’t been too stubborn, perhaps you’d like to join me?”

 “I’m quite fond of your stubbornness, you know,” he smiles, letting her lead the way to the stables.

 “I know,” she laughs.

[quietlysatan]

An Invincible Summer - ShanaStoryteller, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: T for read the warnings, but don’t worry too much because of them

Favorite Quote(s): I legit wanna tattoo this next quote on me somewhere

"Oh, the things that can be accomplished through ignorance of their impossibility," 

And this Straight Up Fact

“There’s no such thing as cheating as long as you win,” Natsu says, and the brat’s not wrong.

This one’s just funny

“Chouza,” Inoichi forces himself to say evenly, “Your teachings produced Ebisu and goddamned Gai.”

“Genma’s pretty normal though,” Chouza sighs, “I never could get through to that boy.”

Gently Gai casually caring about Kakashi’s well-being is my entire reason for living, speaking of which if someone wants to come be my Gai that’d be really fucking nice because us Kakashi’s don’t do too well on our own

He hesitates, but says, "Not that I do not find your newfound mentorship to be a most youthful endeavor, but -"

"I don't know," Kakashi interrupts his friend, "I met her while she was taking her genin exam and she, I don't know, adopted me or something. She just keeps showing up."

Gai nods thoughtfully, "Stubbornness is a useful skill to have when trying to cultivate a friendship with you." Kakashi elbows the other man, but doesn't protest besides that. "She's a good cook."

And this one because I love it when people Get It, ya’know?

That's really why he won't say anything, why he won't reveal that the Kyuubi's container and the fourth Hokage's child is still alive: they already killed him once. Naruto and Shikamaru are the same age, they would have been in the same class, and the idea that anyone could want to harm his innocent, precious son makes his blood boil 

And this one, for accuracy

"This sounds like a most youthful endeavor. I will bring Anko! She will fan the flames of youth in our young Konoha blossom!"

Both Itachi and Kakashi look at Gai, horrified. "Please don't," Itachi says weakly, like he knows it'll fall on deaf ears but he has to try anyway.

"Don't worry," Gai attempts to assure them, going into his Good Guy pose, "They will produce youthful flames of feminine excellence!"

"They're going to burn down Konoha," Kakashi says flatly.

Gai's hair and teeth sparkle in the sunlight, and he doesn't attempt to deny it.

Another important one

"The world is a terrible place," she says, and she has to swallow before she speaks again, "and it's full of terrible people. But I don't have to be one of them." 

I love that Natsu-chan has great balance, this is my number one favorite character trope, and I wish more people would write it

She bends down to look at him upside down, and Itachi can feel that she's not using chakra to stick onto him, and sometimes her balance just isn't logical. 

I just love the idea of tiny genius Naruto, and I love that Natsu-chan is a seal master at like, fucking seven and a half lol

Itachi knows it's actually far more complicated than that, but just as he does not tell her minutia of the past shinobi wars in their history lessons, she does not overcomplicate her explanations of sealing. Usually he's grateful for that, but when she appears to break every known law to sealing and chakra, he's not.

"That's," he blinks and he's not going to tell her it's impossible because it clearly isn't, "new," he settles on.

A mood honestly

Inoichi now feels the urge to bang his head against the table top, because 'a huge pain' to Natsu is 'literally impossible' to everyone else.

Another mood honestly

Inoichi watches his former genin dig in with resignation. “When are you guys going to start picking up the tab? Feeding you all isn’t cheap you know.”

Hana swallows her mouthful, “Sensei, I am but a lone healer’s apprentice –“

“I have been a chunin less than a month,” Kabuto pouts, wounded, “and already you seek to profit-“

“Do you have any idea how much sealing paper and ink costs?” Natsu demands.

“Okay, okay,” Inoichi grumbles, but it’s not very effective considering he’s smiling, “I take it back, jeez.”

Okay so, since this is a 100k+ word fic, I’ve been doing this thing lately literally just now on this fic review where I only feature quotes from the first chapter (Depending on length.) but, I’m making an exception because I’ve never seen these three characters and my thoughts on them summed up so well by someone I don’t know which is to say anyone, no one I know cares about my interests really lol

"Maybe a little," he admits grudgingly, "Sakura's really smart, but she acts dumb for some reason. And her endurance is really bad. She probably would have been failed on that alone if she didn't have such good aim with shuriken. And Sasuke's good at like, everything, I still don't get why he didn't graduate earlier. He's just so-" Kiba rubs his hand over his face.

"So what?" Hana prompts, even though she's heard this particular complaint before.

"Sad," the genin sighs, "He's miserable all the time, and he works hard and if you yell at him for long enough he'll work with you, but - crap, I don't know. He's got this really great poker face so you think he's just a big jerk, but I can smell his emotions, the big idiot, and he's just this sad lonely kid who won't listen to anyone."

Hana hums, because if she opens her mouth she'll probably start cursing the Hokage and his dumb rules and his dumb ideas, and that is not the type of thing that leads to a long life.

Just one last quote because dudes, guys, pals, friends of mine it’s important and you should all stop and read it.

 “Thanks for being cool with – everything. I’m really happy you’re not mad at me for not being honest with you.”

“You are my friend,” Gaara says warmly, “and you have always been honest about that.”

Words & Chapter(s): 136,306 words of greatness, and 6 full chapters of nicely done completion

Summary: When Naruto is five, he's gutted by a drunken civilian and presumed dead.

Six months later a girl with ash pale hair and dark blue eyes enters the Academy. 

(Guys I swear on my cool as fuck username, and all around internet personality as practically satan and probably Lucifer and whatnot that nobody we like stays dead or severely injured)

Score: 13, this is one of my favorites for a reason, this is actually my second technically third time rereading this in as many weeks

Pairing(s): Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, background Haku/Zabuza, but don’t worry anything you’re thinking of is addressed quite nicely in the fic ultra background but still there’s a lot of relationships and I’m not going to tag them all

Warning(s): Naruto technically dies more than once because this is Naruto we’re talking about but they also technically don’t??? You gotta read it, but basically temporary character death, only the bad guys stay dead in this one.

Nobody knows that Naru-chan lived so there’s that angst for you, however, to be fair it’s not like this whole story is just characters mourning and crying and whatnot, at this point it’s mostly just passing thoughts and memories which, again, to be fair, does almost feel worse at times... Huh, regardless it’s not overly angsty

Kakashi is adopted whether he likes it or not by Natsu-chan, we love both of our emotionally fucked over fair-haired ninja in this house so you won’t have to worry about that sorta fic coming outta nowhere from me BTW... but anyways, Kakashi freaks out a bit, much like the abused dog he always reminds me of, but Natsu is the sweetest and most gentle, yet forceful person he could’ve possibly caught the attention of. (This is canon)

The Akatsuki are still bad, BUT ITACHI ISN’T technically SO WHO FUCKING CARES!!!! (The Massacre still happens tho...)

Mentions of The Flower District and what that implies, and also things a Kunoichi might definitely do

Oh my fucking god the Hyuga... Who would willingly do something so horrible as that? Of all the things... Warning for... The Hyuga branch family situation, it’s dealt with nearly as soon as we are informed but, gods, my blood ran cold, and my face whited out, my sister thought someone had died when she saw my face haha,,, who the fuck does this? And do they die? In canon I mean? I think I only watched up to the chunin exams or Pein’s attack, I can’t remember which tho...

Natsu cries because people are nice to her sometimes. And honestly that’s fair, I burst into to tears once because I imagined someone kissing my forehead softly so, Natsu is completely valid... Sidenote, I’m touch-starved and have no cure for this beyond younger siblings and my cat because I don’t have the ability to ask my mom for a hug without literally gross sobbing and I have A Thing about embarrassment sooooo... yeah if anyone has some therapy justu for me that’d be nice

Mentions of Gross Men that apparently want to have Natsu’s increasingly growing collection of the absolute most dangerous people she can befriend pay them a visit. And by that, I mean an old fuckwit has the gall to leer at a TEN-YEAR-OLD and a FUCKING THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD!!!!!! Ugh, I hate those kinds of pathetic worms.

On that note, there is technically underaged things going on, but they are also Ninja soooo???? They’ve killed people and are technically in their version of an army, and by the laws of their lands they’re all adults, actually I’m pretty sure by shinobi life expectancy Kakashi is middle-aged, Inoichi is a senior citizen, and Hiruzen is a walking corpse tbh

Alcoholism??? I don’t really think it is but I’m not sure, but some characters do drink often, and usually when stressed courtesy of Natsu and co. but still... I don’t actually know if it is because it doesn’t actually happen much, more like every few weeks/months

Mentions of past sexual assault, and attempted past sexual assault, neither happen in fic or to any of our main characters, the experiences are not graphic though they do talk about it in chapter five, it’s not to graphically described.

Also, a bunch of off-screen lemon

A Thing (That I copy-pasted from the author so that all of you will see it and not say a single word against it.): If you thought Natsu was too mature for her age - she has seen and been through some really horrible shit. But also: my cousin has, since he was like 4, hung out with kids that were about 4 years older than him because those were the kids that were in his neighborhood or whatever. Point being, even after he started school, his main group of friends was consistently older than him. He very quickly adapted to that, and to this day (he's 12) hangs out with that same group, and considers children his own age 'kids' because he adapted to the behavior of the group he was surrounded with. I hardly believe Natsu would be any different.

And also

4. Quick little note because some people mentioned liking my portrayal of the Sandaime. I base his decisions/motivations (and Itachi and Danzo's to a certain extent) around this quote by Clementine von Radics: "It is so hard to live half monster, to hurt everything you love by trying to protect it wrong."

Pros: Watching Natsu just casually disregard the idea of gender with little to no thought is the greatest thing anyone will ever experience beyond, I dunno, the party we’re all gonna collectively throw when soggy Cheeto dies (I still haven’t decided which song we should make chart number one when that happens)

Given that I’ve technically read this three times you should already know the writing is fucking amazing, like, whoa, mind blown type of amazing, like, wow, so good, I usually hate rereading something I’ve read before, and especially so soon after the fact but geez Louis is this fic amazing

Natsu is just as easy to fall in love with as Naruto, and they are still the same people with slightly different personalities as is to be realistically expected with a situation like Naru’s was.

Also, GENDERFLUID REPRESENTATION DONE FUCKING AMAZINGLY IS ALWAYS A PLUS!!!!!!! 

The author manages to convey a very realistic genderfluid character in an incredibly believable manner, while also still keeping Natsu/Naruto themself. They’re still the Naruto that we knew and loved, but they’re different too, as is to be expected. when Natsu is a girl no-one stumbles, she is a girl without a doubt, even the author doesn’t trip up on societal expectations, and when Naruto is a boy there is next to immediate acceptance of this fact with absolutely zero (0) Zero bullshit from transphobes, which, as a genderfluid person myself, is always fucking nice to see. You’ll have to read it to know more though.

Natsu running around creating seals is honestly the greatest thing ever, and the end scene with the village made me cry a lil bit, and dammit this fic is so fucking good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, there’s a scene, where Natsu heals Kakashi, and the way the author handled explaining the intimate not sexual relationship between two of my favorite characters ever is just, so subtly beautiful, the sibling-bond these two have is beautiful, and a part of me wants to cry sometimes when I read it, and usually do cry a little when I get to this scene, and only partially because of what happened directly before it.

I love the way everybody just gets up and moves past their trauma and just decides to politely ignore it, oh they still have it, they still deal with it, but they care, and they are careful about it, and even though it hurts them like a knife-wound to the kidney in slow-motion they still get back up and keep fucking going. That’s hella admirable and I can respect that, I can respect even more that they slowly but surely let themselves heal as time moves on. This fic is beautiful on so many different levels but it is this one perhaps, that is the most magnificent. Perhaps.

Sasuke is adorable and depressing and adorable and I love it. And Ino is still a bad bitch but she’s a kid so we only see it like a handful of times in the first two chapters. The Akimichi/Yamanaka/Nara are all great, and I occasionally pity Inionchicause like, he’s putting up with a well-informed seal genius that’s still hyper, a slightly frightening medic-kunoichi with giant dogs, another slightly more frightening medic-nin who isn’t the greatest fighter but damn can he be intimidating and also really good at pointing out “Certain Things” while judging you about them which, honestly, is my greatest pastime. Itachi is so sweet and then so tragic oh my gods, and Natsu never even considers giving up on him. Kakashi is so sweet, and he slowly becomes less of a beaten dog as time goes on and I just love all of these characters.

Except for Hiruzen. Well, no, I still love this particular incarnation of Hiruzen, for all that he’s got one hell of a pathetically small backbone, I get why he does shit. But that doesn’t make me happy. Still, he’s better than dumbledouchebag. Granted that’s not difficult, and you might have to actively put an effort in to be as bad as that guy, but still. Plus, his hearts in the right place, and he’s less about the greater good then... certain disgraces to teaching and being in charge of a large group of people... Hiruzen is actually kinda sweet and admits he has issues and actually has an excuse that’s understandable for the shit that he pulls which is great, if sadly uncommon.

Anyways, Sakura is terrifying, and I remembered why I had a crush on her. She’s so badass, also, she ends up Princess Mononoke basically which, honestly, is fucking great, and the best thing we could’ve asked for, I love all of these characters so much!!!

Aesthetic: It reminds me off beefy stew (We don’t eat beef, so we used vegan soy beef stuff instead, and it was just as good.) it reminds me of the warmth, and friendship, and home that I felt after my mom and I make dinner together with nothing but a little music on and jokes passing back and forth between us. It reminds me of scraping my knee and having my friends help me to their mom, it reminds me of loyalty and compassion. It reminds me of dancing outside at night, alone in the forest with nothing but the moon for company and wind for music. It reminds me of the first time I realized that I could love someone despite their gender and that I should despite mine. It reminds me of finely spun handmade lace, and all it’s delicate while also reminding me of the sturdiest of steels, it reminds me of so much. It reminds me of acceptance, and understanding, and so much more. If I were to say what food and drink it reminds me of, I’d say chicken noodle soup, and sweet lavender-lemon tea.

Music Aesthetic: So, I made a playlist while I was reading this the first time around, and instead of a gif or twenty like I would usually prefer to do I’m going to add that playlist. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbhXmTSBbAyjk0m1b4BZUp3t0RHL83LDK

But if I were to add a gif or two it’d be these

Because something about this fic reminds me of rainy days with tea and baggy clothes.

Every time Natsu/Naruto decided to fight ever, to be honest.

[river1983]

Journey

Hello guys! Back at it again with another aziracrow fic.

This is supposed to be the journey Crowley and Aziraphale had through the years of their friendship but tweaked a little so it shows more romanticism. A lot of the things described are my headcanons/ideas, and some of the historical events were not apart of the show and stuff I added in. Most of my added pieces probably aren’t historically accurate, though I tried, so I apologize in advance lol. Some of the speech lines have been cut out also. A lot of this is just what I saw and inferred as I watched and in no way actually canon. I hope you like it! :)

You can also think of this as being narrated by God or someone, but also as just a thing I dunno.

Credit Disclaimer: Some of the scenes and lines are from the TV show Good Omens. I DO NOT own Good Omens, it belongs to Neil Gaimen and Terry Pratchett. 

--

journey - an act of traveling from one place to another.

--

Starting six thousand years ago, in the beginning, an angel and a demon met in the Garden of Eden at the beginning of everything. The demon had just finished his job, and though he wouldn’t explicitly admit it, he didn’t agree with the punishment that ensued to the only two humans on the face of the Earth. The angel didn’t either, and rebelled slightly by giving the humans aid. The demon and the angel stood side by side as the first storm rained down on them, and the angel offered his wing to the demon, who gladly welcomed it.

This was only the beginning.

--

A thousand years later in Mesopotamia, they met again as Noah and two of every animal (minus the unicorn...it got away) boarded the Ark to escape the oncoming raging storm that would wipe out the human race. The angel, named Aziraphale, explained the Almighty's plan to the demon, doubt creeping into his mind with every word he said.

“All of them?” The demon asked incredulously. Heaven? Kill all of Creation? That sounds more like Hell.

“Well, not all of them,” The angel responded. “Noah, up there, his wife, sons, and their wives will live.”

“And they’re going to drown everybody else?” 

The angel nodded hesitantly. Of course, it was wrong, of course. But what was he to do about it?

“You mustn't judge the Almighty, Crawley,” The angel said. “God’s plans are--”

“Are you going to say ineffable?” Crawley asked with a huff. 

“...Possibly.”

Rain fell down on the two, signifying the start of the wipe out the human race. The demon looked up like he couldn’t believe this was happening, and the angel looked down, ashamed.

--

“Come to smirk at the poor bugger, have you?”

In Golgotha, 33 AD., the angel and the demon found themselves together again.

“Smirk? Me?”

“Well, your lot put him on there,” The demon, now named Crowley, spat.

The demon had met him, Jesus. He felt...bad, for the man--for his fate. Showed him all the kingdoms of the world. 

Aziraphale winced as the nail was hammered deeper and deeper into Jesus’ wrist. Guilt seeped into his angelic bones, despite knowing he was not consulted. 

Jesus was pulled upright as he wailed in agony, the angel and the demon together watching on.

--

Eight years later the pair met again on accident, presumably, in Rome. 

The angel spotted the demon at ‘the bar’ and moved to sit next to him.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Aziraphale exclaimed. “Still a demon then?”

“What type of question is that? Still a demon, what else am I supposed to be an aardvark?” Crowley retaliated, irritated. He took a sip of his house brown.

“Salutaria.” They clinked glasses.

The angel cleared his throat. “In Rome long?”

“Just popped in for a quick temptation. You?”

“I thought I’d try Petronius’ new restaurant. I hear he does remarkable things to oysters.”

Crowley sipped his drink again. “I’ve never had an oyster.”

Aziraphale looked at the demon incredulously. “Oh, well let me tempt you to--”

The demon turned around with a smirk, looking at the angel. 

“Oh,” The angel muttered, realizing his mistake. “No, that’s your job isn’t it?”

Crowley smiled and sipped his drink again, falling just a little more for the angel.

--

Rome was falling.

It was 79 AD as the demon covered his face onslaught of soot fell on the ruins of Pompeii. He wasn’t even supposed to still be there, but one quick temptation turned into a more complicated matter.

But nothing that was happening now was his doing. He ran through the ruins as fire erupted in shop and homes. People running in all directions as they tried to escape the city.

Crowley ran through the ruins, trying not to get discorporated, when he bumped into a little girl who was crying. Kneeling down, the demon grabbed the little girl without thought and continued to look for an exit. As he passed a shop, he saw a sliver of white hair and turned around.

“Aziraphale?” He said incredulously as he walked into the shop, trying not to inhale the smoke with the little girl in his arms.

“Crowley,” He looked at the little girl then back at Crowley.

“What the Hel--Heaven’s are you doing!?”

“I was looking for some old scrolls--”

“The city is on fire and you’re looking for scrolls?”

They ducked as another boom shook the ground.

“Aziraphale, we have to go now or you’ll be discorporated!”

“What does that matter to yo--”

“No time! I have to get this girl to safety, come on!”

He tugged Aziraphale along and searched for a way out of the falling city. Soot covered them head to toe as they emerged from the city as volcanic ash continued to fall, coughing from the thick smoke that hung in the air. They got as far from the city as they could before Crowley set the girl down. 

“Try and find your family, alright? Don’t go near the city.”

The little girl nodded and ran off, leaving the angel and the demon alone.

Aziraphale stared at Crowley. “Why’d you save her?”

Crowley snorted as he settled himself on the ground. “What was I supposed to do, just leave her there?”

“Well, you are a demon.”

Crowley scoffed. “You know that wasn’t my doing, right? I didn’t set that volcano to explode.”

Aziraphale looked at Crowley. “I know.”

As the demon watched the city fall, the angel couldn’t help but stare at the demon in curiosity. A demon showing empathy and compassion? It was different.

He could get used to it.

--

In the Kingdom of Wessex in 537 AD., the demon and the angel were doing their respective jobs, fomenting peace and causing trouble, without knowing of the other’s presence.

“I was hoping to meet with the Black Knight?”

Aziraphale (of the Table Round) walked forward as the Black Knight emerged from the smoke.

“You have sought the Black Knight, foolish one,” The Black Knight responded. “But you have found your death.”

Aziraphale squinted and tilted his head. “Is that you under there Crawley?”

“Crowley,” Crowley responded, pulling up his helmet, revealing his yellow, piercing snake eyes.

“What the hell are you playing at?” Aziraphale said in exasperation.

“I’m here spreading foment.”

“What is that, some kind of porridge?”

“No. I’m, you know, fomenting dissent and discord.”

“Well, I’m meant to be fomenting peace.”

“So we’re both working very hard in a damp place just canceling each other out?”

“Well, when you put it like that...it is a bit damp.”

“Be easier if we both just stayed home.”

Aziraphale looked at the demon, confused.

“Just send messages back to head office, saying we’ve done everything they asked for, wouldn’t it?”

“But that would be lying,” Aziraphale exclaimed.

Crowley looked to the side and shrugged. “Eh, possibly, but the end result would be the same.”

“But,” Aziraphale protested. “my dear fellow, they’d check!” His face hardened slightly. “You don’t want Gabriel to get upset with you.”

“Oh, our lot have better things to do than verifying compliance on Earth.”

“No! Absolutely not. We’re not having this conversation, not another word.” Aziraphale turned around, going back to the knights behind him.

“Right,” The demon muttered as he closed his helmet.”

“Right!”

--

It was right in the middle of the 14th century, in 1347 as the Black Death raged across Europe, Crowley and Aziraphale are together again.

“I hate the 14th century,” Crowley growled as he paced the room he was in. “The humans are all at war with each other, disease is wiping out half the population, there’s nothing to do.” 

Aziraphale sighed. He had been hearing Crowley rant about this century for 20 years now. “Isn’t this supposed to be good for you? You can lie to your head office about all the wondrous work you are doing, possibly get that promotion.”

Crowley groaned.

“Can you do me a favor?” Crowley asked as he collapsed on the chair.

“What would it be?”

“What if you...” Crowley started. “Did both the tempting and the blessing?”

Aziraphale whipped around. “You can’t be serious!?”

Crowley shrugged. “The end result would be the same. There’s no point in both of us being here since we just cancel each other out.”

Aziraphale said nothing.

“It saves time,” Crowley added.

“But if Hell or Heaven found out--”

“No one has to know, Aziraphale.”

The angel sighed. “Fine, I agree to this...arrangement. But only this once, Crowley.”

The demon smirked. “Sure, angel.” He walked out the door.

The angel blushed at the nickname and watched Crowley as he left, sighing in defeat.

That was the beginning of the Arrangement.

--

At the Globe Theatre in London, 1601, the angel and the demon met again.

As Burbage performed Shakespeare’s Hamlet on the stage (with very few watching), Aziraphale watched with a smile on his face as Crowley stood next to him, smirking at the angel.

“He’s very good, isn’t he?”

“Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety,” Crowley responds, profoundly.

Shakespeare looks at Crowley strangely. “Yeah, I like that,” he says, slowing walking off to write it down somewhere. 

As Shakespeare walked away, Aziraphale piped up. 

“What do you want?”

“Why ever would you insinuate that I might possibly want something?”

“You are up to no good.”

“Obviously. You are up to good, I take it?”

“No rest for the...well, good,” Aziraphale responded. He turned toward the demon. “I have to be in Edinburgh by the end of the week. A couple of miracles to perform.”

He made a face. “Apparently I have to ride a horse.”

Crowley grimaces. “Oh, hard on the buttocks, horses. A major design flaw if you ask me.”

Crowley walks around to the other side. “I’m meant to be heading to Edinburgh too this week,” He says. It was slightly too convenient, heading to the same place as Aziraphale.

“I thought we should...” He trails off, looking at the angel expectedly.

“You cannot actually be suggesting...” Aziraphale started, trailing off. “What I infer...you are implying.”

“Which is?” Crowley teased.

“That only one of us goes to Edinburgh, do both.”

“We’ve done it before,” Crowley says, looking back at the stage. “Dozens of times now.”

He leaned towards the angel. “The arrangement--” He sing-songed before Aziraphale cut him off.

“Don’t say that!” He whispered, more afraid of Heaven than of the demon next to him.

“Our respective head offices don’t actually care how things get done,” Crowley retorts.

“But if Hell finds out, they won’t just be angry,” Aziraphale protests, voice softening with worry for the demon. “They’ll destroy you.”

“No one has to know,” Crowley reassured, pulling out a coin. “Toss you for Edinburgh?”

Aziraphale sighs but gives in. “Fine, heads.”

Crowley flips the coin, both of them leaning in to look. “Tails, I’m afraid. You’re going to Scotland.” Aziraphale sighed, turning back to the stage.

“-it’d take a miracle for anyone to come and see Hamlet,” the pair hear Shakespeare complain, shaking his head.

Aziraphale turned toward the demon, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Yes, alright, I’ll do that one, my treat,” Crowley said, falsely exasperated.

“Oh, really?” Aziraphale says with a smile.

“I still prefer the funny ones,” Crowley says as he walks out.

Aziraphale turns toward the stage again with a smile on his face, popping another grape into his mouth. The angel won’t admit it, but he was starting to warm up to the demon.

And the demon would never admit he was already far gone on the angel.

--

Aziraphale sat in a cell, hands chained to the wall in Paris, 1793. He sighed as he looked at his confined hands. All he wanted were some crepes, for Heaven’s sake. 

A man walked into the cell, speaking to him in French. Probably something about cutting his head off in about five minutes...His French was a little off.

After a bad attempt at responding to the man in French, the man revealed himself as Jean-Claude (in English), his personal executor.

“You are lucky that it is I, Jean-Claude, who will remove your traitorous head from your shoulders!”

“Look, this is all a terrible mistake. I don’t think you understand--”

“I have some good news for you. You are the 999th aristo to die at the guillotine by my hand! But the first English.”

The angel smiled curtly and nodded, beginning to regret dressing the way he did, and found himself wishing Crowley was here.

“Now--” Jean-Clause moved to remove his scarf.

Aziraphale stood up quickly, stepping toward the wall. “Please! No!” He said. “Dreadful mistake, discorporating me,” He blew air out of his mouth and rolled his eyes. “Ugh, it’ll be a complete nightmare,”

Jean-Claude looked at the angel, confused about his sudden outburst. The sound of the guillotine blade filled the cell again and the executor turned toward the window, then time froze.

“Animals,” Aziraphale muttered.

“Animals don’t kill each other with clever machines, angel. Only humans do that,” A familiar voice said behind him.

Aziraphale’s whole face and mood lit up (without his permission). “Crowley,” He said with relief as he turned around.

The demon sat on a rock in the corner, dressed in “appropriate” attire at the time, due to where they were. Aziraphale looked him over, appalled. “Oh, good Lord,” He said, setting his shoulders a little straighter.

“What in the deuce are you doing locked up in the Bastille? I thought you were opening a bookshop,” The demon says incredulously, propping his arm on the wall next to him as he stared at the angel through his glasses.

“I was,” He nodded. “...I got peckish.”

“Peckish?’“ Crowley inquired, leaning forward a bit.

“Well if you must know it was the crepes,” Aziraphale admitted, moving to sit down in his chair, still chained. “You can only find decent ones in Paris. And the brioche,” He said with a tilt of his head.

“So you just popped around the Channel during a revolution because you wanted something to nibble? Dressed like that?”

“I have standards.” Aziraphale defended.

Crowley smirked slightly, amused by the angel’s stubbornness, even if it almost got him killed.

Crowley snapped his fingers, and Aziraphale’s chains fell to the ground. the angel rubbed his wrists, looking back at the demon.

“I suppose I should thank you. For the, uh, rescue.”

Crowley got up from his seat, walking over to the angel. “Don’t say that. If my people hear that I rescued an angel  I’ll be the one in trouble. And they don’t give strongly worded notes.”

“Well anyway, I am very grateful,” the angel said, looking at the demon in the eye. “What if I buy you lunch?”

The demon raised an eyebrow. “Looking like that?”

Aziraphale glared at the angel in annoyance, before huffing and snapping his fingers, changing his attire so it was similar to Jean-Claude’s.

The angel stepped over to the demon and stood next to him as Crowley snapped his fingers once more, changing Jean-Claude’s attire so it looked like he was the aristocrat, and the guards pulled him away while Crowley and Aziraphale watched undetected.

“So what’s for lunch?” Crowley said to the angel, turning to face him.

“How would you feel about some crepes?” Aziraphale responded with a smile.

--

The angel and the demon stood by a pond in St. James’ Park in 1862, Aziraphale throwing bread into the pond for the ducks while Crowley just stood, preparing to ask a question.

“Look, I’ve been thinking, what of it all goes wrong?” Crowley started, still staring out across the pond. “We have a lot on common, you and me.”

“I don’t know. We both may have started off as angels, but you are fallen,” Aziraphale responded someone terse. He had found himself becoming too attached to the demon, and by any circumstances, he simply couldn’t.

“I didn’t really fall,” Crowley argued, slightly hurt by Aziraphale’s comment. “I just, you know...sauntered vaguely downward.”

He cleared his throat. “I need a favor.”

Aziraphale threw the last of his breadcrumbs and put his hat back on. “We already have an agreement, Crowley.”

“This is something different,” Crowley handed him a slip of paper. “I wrote it down. Walls have ears. I mean, trees have ears. Ducks have ears.”

Aziraphale opened the paper and his eyes widened as he read the words. 

“Do ducks have ears? They must do, it’s how they hear other ducks.”

“Absolutely out of the question!” Aziraphale retorted, appalled. How could the demon even ask him of this?

“Why not?”

“It would destroy you!” Aziraphale whispered, worry dripping through his voice. “I’m not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley!” He shoved the slip back into the demo’s hand, angry that he would even suggest such a thing.

“Not what I want it for, just insurance,” Crowley insisted, handing him back the paper, which had the words Holy Water scrawled over it.

Aziraphale’s distant façade dropped. “I’m not an idiot, Crowley,” He almost pleaded. “Do you know what trouble I’d be in if...” He looked up at the sky, then quieting his voice. “They knew I’ve been fraternizing!?”

Crowley turned toward the angel, finally. “Fraternizing?” He spat. He thought they were past this--seeing each other as the enemy.

“Or whatever you wish to call it,” Aziraphale responded, his anger and hurt still seeping through. “I do not see any point in discussing it further.”

“I have lots of other people to fraternize with, angel,” Crowley retorted, when in fact, he did not.

“Of course you do.”

“I don’t need you,” When in fact, he did.

“Well, the feeling’s mutual, obviously!” Aziraphale said, whipping around and storming away, throwing the slip of paper in the pond where it caught on fire.

Crowley turned back to the pond. That conversation did not go as planned.

“Obviously,” Crowley mocked, hiding his hurt.

--

As Aziraphale negotiated with Nazi’s in London, 1941, he couldn’t get Crowley out of his mind. He hadn’t seen the demon in a little over a century. They had left on...less than ideal terms, and despite how much Aziraphale tried not to, he missed the demon. It was unlike Crowley not to pop up somewhere, and the angel worried that he might not see the demon ever again. He didn’t--couldn’t regret saying no to giving Crowley holy water, whether it was for insurance or not. The chance was too great.

Mr. Golzier pulled a gun after Aziraphale put his beloved books down. 

“Such a pity you must be eliminated, but take heart,” he said, cocking the gun. “Just another death in the Blitz.”

“That’s not very sporting,” Aziraphale said.

Golzier cocked his head. “You don’t appear worried, my friend.”

A woman appeared behind him, cocking her gun, just like Aziraphale planned.

”He is not worried,” she said.

“Who’s she?” Mr. Harmony said, standing up.

“She, my double-dealing Nazi acquaintance, is the reason why none of those books are going back to Berlin! And why your nasty little spy ring will be spending the rest of the war behind bars!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “Let me introduce you to Captain Rose Montgomery of British Military Intelligence.”

“Thank you for the introduction,” Captain Rose said calmly.

“So, Rose, where exactly are your people?”

Harmony let his hands fall. “We are all here,” He laughed.

Golzier walked towards the Captain. “Allow me to introduce Fraulien Greta Klienschmidt. She works for us.”

She pointed the gun at the angel, who stepped back, mouth gaped.

“Now, where were we? Oh yes, killing you.”

“You can’t kill me!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “There’ll be paperwork.”

A door slammed. All four turned their heads to the sound.

In comes no one other than Crowley, hopping around on the consecrated ground they were standing on, making sounds of discomfort.

Aziraphale had never been so glad and furious to see the demon.

“Sorry, consecrated ground,” Crowley gasped, still hopping around. “Oh! It’s like being at the beach in bare feet!”

“What are you doing here?” Aziraphale exclaimed. I’m so glad to see you.

“Stopping you from getting into trouble,” He retorted.

Azirpahale rolled his eyes. “I should have known. These are your people.”

The demon leaned on a pue. “No! They’re a bunch of half-witted Nazi spies running around killing people, I just didn’t want to see you getting embarrassed. Gah!” He hopped around some more.

“Mr. Anthony J. Crowley,” Golzier says. “Your fame precedes you.”

“Anthony?” Aziraphale asks.

“You don’t like it?” Crowley responded, ignoring Nazi.

“No, no, I didn’t say that,” Aziraphale said quickly. “I’ll get used to it.”

“In about a minute,” Crowley said suddenly. “a German bomber will release a bomb that will land right here.” He pointed to the ground they were standing on (well, he was hopping on). “If you all run away very, very fast, you might not die. You won’t enjoy dying, and definitely won’t enjoy what comes after.”

“You expect us to believe that?” Golzier scoffs. “The bombs tonight will fall on the East End.”

“Yes. It would take a last-minute demonic intervention to throw them off course, yes.”

Aziraphale looked toward the demon, realizing his plan.

“You’re all wasting your valuable running away time!” Crowley exclaimed. “And! If, in thirty seconds a bomb did land here, it would take a real miracle for my friend and I to survive it.” He looked toward Aziraphale with his shaded eyes.

“A real miracle?” Aziraphale stammered. Oh, right.

“Kill them,” Harmony said. “They are very irritating.”

On cue, Crowley pointed his fingers up at the roof and the sound of a whistling bomb sounded. All three Nazi's looked up toward the sound in disbelief.

Then the bomb landed.

Aziraphale and Crowley stood unharmed in the rubble, the demon cleaning his glasses and the angel taking off his hat.

“That was very kind of you,” The angel said, in slight disbelief. After that entire argument they had a century ago, he was surprised the demon would come to his aid, that he even knew where Aziraphale was. 

Crowley pulled his glasses over his yellow snake eyes. “Shut up.” He said jokingly, hiding his smile.

“Well, it was. No paperwork, for a start.” Aziraphale smiled.

“Oh, the books! Oh, I forgot all the books! Oh, they’ll be blown to--”

Crowley walked over to Harmony’s dead body, buried underneath the rubble. he wrenched the bag of books from his dead hand and handed it to the angel. “A little demonic miracle of my own.” He said. “Lift home?”

He walked away, and Aziraphale stared at his back in disbelief. He couldn’t believe Crowley had remembered his beloved books when Aziraphale didn’t.

That was the moment the angel realized the inevitable. 

He was in love with a demon.

--

While Crowley negotiated plans to steal holy water in Soho, 1967, he wondered about Aziraphale.

There was something about the angel that Crowley couldn't pin that drew the demon in, as much as he hated it. He had feelings for Aziraphale, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. He wasn’t supposed to feel, not after the Fall. Especially not for an angel. 

He walked over to his car after an interesting conversation with Shadwell, collapsing into the driver’s seat. He looked to his left and saw Aziraphale sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“What are you doing here?” Crowley asked incredulously. I was just thinking about you.

“I needed a word with you,” Aziraphale responded. 

“What?”

“I work in Soho, I hear things.” He paused. “I hear that you’re setting up a...caper to rob a church.”

Crowley sighed and turned his head forward.

“Crowley, it’s too dangerous,” Aziraphale pleaded. “Holy water won’t just destroy your body, it’ll destroy you completely.”

“You told me what you think one hundred and eight years ago,” Crowley said, turning back to the angel.

“And I haven’t changed my mind,” Aziraphale interrupted. “But I can’t have you risking your life.” You mean too much to me.

“So...” Aziraphale pulled out a beige flask. Crowley’s eyebrows raised slightly as he looked at the flask. “You can call off the robbery.” The angel held the flask gingerly, as if it might break and the water would spill out, vaporizing the demon forever. He shuddered at the thought.

Crowley looked at the angel in surprised, then back at the flask. He took the flask gingerly, holding it out in front of him.

I’m not planning to use it on myself, angel. He wanted to say. But he didn’t.

“After everything you said?” He said instead, the century left not talking that they both regretted brought up without speaking of it.

Aziraphale nodded.

Crowley looked at the flask again in disbelief. “Should I say thank you?” He said after a while, looking back at the angel.

“Better not,” Aziraphale said, smiling softly.

“Well can I drop you off anywhere?” Please let me say thank you.

“No, thank you.”

Crowley’s face fell.

“Oh, don’t look so disappointed.” Please. “Perhaps one day we could...go for a picnic,” Aziraphale smiled at the thought. “Dine at the Ritz.” He smiled at the demon.

“I’ll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go,” Crowley insisted. I love you.

Aziraphale was quiet or a time. Then he sighed. “You go to fast for me, Crowley,” He said sadly, like it hurt his very Grace to say that.

Crowley’s demonic heart broke, despite deep down knowing Aziraphale’s answer.

The angel left the car, walking away.

Crowley stared at the flask in his had once again, and set it down. He sighed, then started the car.

--

In the End Times, as Satan manifested on Earth and the Anti-Christ went against the Great Plan and stopped the Apocolypse. The angel and the demon clasped hands, and three words passed between them without being spoken.

I love you.

The Anti-Christ willed the Devil out of existence, leaving the Earth untouched just for a little while longer.

--

So, now, all of the angel and the demon’s interactions have led up to this moment, after preventing the Apocalypse by the sheer force of will, and defying their respective head offices just by being together, they sat at the Ritz, a glass of champagne in each of their hands.

“I think none of this would’ve worked out if you weren’t at heart, just a little bit a good person,” Aziraphale said.

“And if you weren’t, deep down, just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing,” Crowley said with a smile.

Aziraphale gushed, looking down at the table then back at the demon. 

“Cheers,” Crowley said, raising his glass toward the angel. “To the world.”

Aziraphale raised his glass, smiling. “To the world.”

They clinked glasses.

--

The journey of an angel who fell in love with a demon, despite what he had been taught, and a demon who fell in love with an angel, despite thinking he couldn’t even feel after the Fall, had ended, but was only the start of the beginning of the rest of their lives, together despite all odds.

They sat, fingers entwined, chatting at the Ritz while a Nightingale sang for the first time in Berkeley Square.

--

Finally! I’m done with this fic! It took forever because of the scenes, and I’m sorry about that! I’m really proud of how it came out! I hope you guys like it :)

-river

[pekorosu]

a summary of the banana fish bits from the yoshida akimi + gackt interview in this malice mizer book (1998). i don’t think there’s a complete english t/l out there yet (please correct if i’m wrong) but there is a chinese one, so do check it out if you’re interested (thanks @vashak for the link!)

- Gackt once claimed to have read the series more than a hundred times and that he would love to meet the author. His wish finally came true and the meet-up took place at Yoshida’s home.

- Why was Gackt drawn to the series at first? Because of the art, especially the eyes.

- He has the tendency to go into different character POVs as he’s reading a story. For BF, he started out with Ash’s POV, then Eiji’s, and so on. He did it even for characters who die almost immediately, so once that happened he would go back to the beginning and start reading again from a different POV, repeating it until he’s done with all the charas.

- Yoshida says that she’s interested in how male readers view the story, because after all, it is a woman’s fantasy. She wonders if it’s hard for them to get into the story. Gackt says that he got really into it though. Yoshida concedes that there are men out there who like the series, but it is still a shoujo manga and the magazine it’s published in is also for girls, so she has never once thought about a male audience as she was drawing it. That’s why she’s curious about how it’s being read by them.

- Someone told Gackt about the manga, which is how he found out about it. He really liked the art style and the convos, and from then on, it felt like he got sucked into her world and couldn’t get out.

- For some reason, he also thinks that their collarbones are nice…? He talks about how the characters wear T-shirts and how the collarbones would just casually peek out and he thinks it’s nice. Yoshida’s like, huh, that’s a first. Lol. She also mentions that she’s not really the type to be particularly fussy about her art.

- Gackt asks what inspired her to want to draw BF. Yoshida says that during her college years, her generation was exposed to and was heavily influenced by drug culture, so everyone around her including herself was quite knowledgeable about the topic. And as she was reading all sorts of books on it, she came across something that mentioned that the CIA planned to use drugs for mind control and that apparently the Soviet Union had something similar in mind as well. She thought that was interesting. She also talks about how there are many weapons of war in this world, the main three being: nuclear weapons, food supply and oil... with drugs being said to be the fourth. Thinking about it now, that’s probably where the idea for the story was conceived.

- Editor(?) asks if she wasn’t just bringing in dramatic elements for the sake of creating more hurdles for Ash? Yoshida agrees that there was that too.

- Yoshida also talks about how she initially wanted to portray the main character as a more lively boy, since the ones she drew in the past were all kinda gloomy. She was aiming for something more positive or more shounen manga-esque, but it didn’t turn out that way in the end lol.

- Gackt says he was intrigued by certain words that came up in the series too. When he got to the word “Aslan,” a lot of stories started springing up inside him. At the same time, he got an inspiration for a song. That was when he came up with “Asrun Dream.” He didn’t know how to spell the word, so he had to do some research.

- Yoshida says that she doesn’t think the way he pronounced it is right… she thinks it’s supposed to sound more complicated? She talks about how she took French as a foreign language module in college, and she learned things like how the “h” is silent. For example, you’d pronounce hotel like “otel.” Anyway she thinks that there might be something like that as well when it comes to “Aslan.”

- Gackt asks about her readers’ reactions. Yoshida says that the most common one among girls is that they often identify with Eiji. They want to be Eiji, and they want to save Ash. And upon reaching the end, there was a lot of “Please don’t kill him.”

- Gackt asks if she’s thought of writing a whole story about Eiji and Sing after Ash’s death. Yoshida says that that story (GoL i guess) was supposed to be much longer... about how the two of them are going through life in present-day New York. But because of page restrictions and stuff when it came to compiling it into a volume, it had to be cut short. She says that the original story on its own was as long as an entire volume.

- Gackt says that he’s mentioned liking BF in a newsletter to his fanclub and that he’s drawn a portrait (of Ash? idk). Yoshida asks to see it and he’s like “sure” lol

- Editor says that BF feels very much like an American movie. Yoshida mentions that she had given the rights for a movie adaptation to Sakamoto Ryuichi, but for various reasons it ended up not happening. “Plus, River is no longer here too.” It was something like that.

- Gackt is asked if there’s any character he wants to play, and he says Shorter. Editor asks if that means he’s willing to cut his hair. Gackt says he would; he’d turn it into a mohawk, and then he’d shave it so that he can say this line in the movie: “I’m growing it out!”

- He also mentions wanting to play Arthur. Yoshida says that role might suit him better… the sad young man from the gloomy villains’ side. (t/l note: /raises eyebrow at “sad young man”)

- Initially, Gackt thought that he could do Ash or Arthur. But he felt that Shorter would be the toughest to play, so that’s why he prefers Shorter. Especially his final scene where he says, “Kill me.” What kind of expression should he make for that? A smile would be the toughest, wouldn’t it? And Shorter smiles a lot. Just what kind of feelings would there be behind that smile?

- Yoshida says she feels honored as a mangaka to know that he reads that deeply. Usually, she disappoints people because she always ends up saying “I never thought that far.” Editor says, but that means you’re writing it subconsciously right? Yoshida says well, I guess so.

- Editor says that, with such passion for the series, Gackt would be able to come up with a soundtrack or an image album, wouldn’t he? Gackt says yes, and that he’s come up with so many songs as he was reading the series. 

- He talks about how “Asrun Dream” has its own story behind it. Ash wakes up in the morning while Eiji is still asleep in bed, and he goes to lean against the window, looking out. That’s the scene inside him that evoked the song. Yoshida says that she would like to listen to it. Gackt says that it’s not released publicly and no one knows about it, but he still has it as an old song.

- Editor says that he should release it as a solo album, with the jacket art done by Yoshida. Yoshida’s like, wait what’s going on? lol. Gackt says of course, when the time comes he will request for it. If she refuses, he would do a dogeza all the way ‘til morning. Everyone laughs. He’s like, I’ll even quit my job. And she says that she feels the pressure mounting now lol.

- Gackt says that he’s always wanted to write down all the songs that come to him as he’s reading a story, and then compile them into an album bundled with a little book, like “please listen to this while you’re reading the book.” If there’s a chance, he’d definitely like to try it out. He says that he would always be waiting for that chance until the day he dies.

here’s a pic of her workspace:

[just0nemorepage]

Ashes || Laurie Halse Anderson || Seeds of America #3 || 298 pages ------------------------------------------------------------------ Top 3 Genres: Historical Fiction / Young Adult / War

Synopsis: Freedom for one, freedom for all?

That’s the question that burns in Isabel’s mind as she and Curzon forge on through chaos and fear toward the dream that’s kept them alive for so many years: freedom. But her dream of living not as a “runaway” but as a free person with land and a family of her own seems impossibly far away. That dream hinges on one thing: finding her little sister, Ruth. It’s been years since Ruth was stolen from her. Is she even alive? And if Isabel can find her, how will they make it safely through the war between the Patriots and the British that rages on as dangerously as ever, while bounty hunters try to kidnap them at every turn?

In the American Revolution, one must pick a side in order to survive. But how can you care about a nation’s freedom when the very same nation has kept you in chains?

Finished: December 12th, 2019.

Progress: 13 / 15. 86.6% complete.

My Rating: ★★★★☆. [4/5]

My Review: [Under the read more - NOT SPOILER FREE]

First things first – I finished this way faster than I thought I would! Woohoo!! Thank you, quiet days at work lmao. I may finish my challenge yet.

Okay so. This book gave me thoughts.

It had been about.. oh, 6 years? since I read the last book in the series, but luckily just about all of it came back as I was reading this one. It was a very easy read, the language flowed well, it was paced nicely, I could easily understand the historical terms, the historical accuracy was on point and hella fascinating, and I flew through 300 pages in 6 days. The character development is phenomenal – Ruth is totally autistic!! – and it was interesting how the book’s blurb seriously was covered in just about the first two chapters. The entire REST of the book was a blank slate.

Now: grievances. First and foremost, while the character development was naturally paced and very well done, it waited until the last third of the book to blossom into anything positive at all, and until quite literally the LAST CHAPTER to fully wrap up. You have to put up with characters being bull-headed and mean and stubborn and not communicating well the entire rest of the book, and it gets exasperating. Isabel herself, until she checks herself, is QUITE unlikable. Like – very. She does redeem herself and get over herself in the end, but, yeeeesh. I can still enjoy unlikable characters, though – it wasn’t anywhere near enough to abandon the book over.

And then there’s the more complicated issue of how freedom and hypocrisy and differing sides are portrayed. I think it really did a wonderful job accurately illustrating just how hypocritical the patriot side of the Revolutionary war was, in that it was fighting for freedom against the British, but still was VERY pro-slavery. That they let black soldiers fight in the ranks, but still returned other black folk back to slavery who had already liberated themselves. The book truly did a great job getting across how difficult and muddy it could be to “choose a side”, when neither side gives a rat’s ass about you or your people. But I think it chose the right path to try to explain how you could choose a side anyway, particularly the patriot side – you do it to do what’s right, to not necessarily succeed freedom for yourself, but for those who come after you. To set the groundwork for those who follow in your footsteps, to go further than you ever could go. It’s a fool’s hope to think any progress could come of such a fight at the time, but to fight for the future – that’s valid, and honorable.

While I believe it did a decent job getting all that across, something about it truly felt off. Perhaps it was that the characters in this book, while not spared from various threats or fear of re-enslavement, were the highly romanticized and best-case-scenario version of what normally happened to black people at this time. People seemed entirely too accepting, and entirely too polite to Isabel and her companions for the entirety of the story. Things seemed to go entirely too much in their favor. It very much felt unrealistic, and it doesn’t sit well with me that this was portrayed as a “normal life” when, in fact, it is a very, very VERY fortunate one, to the point where it doesn’t feel real. I think the combination of this and my other aforementioned grievances are what docked off a star from my final rating.

Overall, this is a very good series, though. I don’t think I liked it as much as I like Laurie Halse Anderson’s other books, but it’s up there, and I did enjoy the whole series! I’m glad I finished it, and will happily recommend it to others.

I remember the day I started this series on a whim, back in college, when I just happened to spy the first book on a shelf lol. Now here I am, probably about 8~ years later, finally done with the trilogy.

Oy. It took me long enough.

[aphelyons]

What are some things that you want to see in Star trek Discovery season 2?

Hey Anon! Well I better post this before S2 actually premiers in like A FEW FUCKING HOURS. WHAT THE FUCK.TL;dr Seeing all our beloved’s in space, healing and deepening that bond. Conversations happening. Characters treated with respect. Hugh and Paul ripping out my heart (only to heal it again)…. And awesome outfits from Gersha Phillips’ hands made of magic.  Oh, so many things. First and foremost I am really open and excited to see what they have planned for us this season, I have a lot of faith in the people behind this show (be it creators, writers, cast and crew..etc) so I’m thrilled to see what kind of story will be told this season. But of course, I’m a man with wants. First of all… our Boo’s.

I really need to see Paul openly process his emotions (grief) and experiences fully. I think Discovery has a couple of good opportunities to explore men being open and honest about their emotional struggles, how that impacts them and ultimately how they then confront and process them. Especially in the current climate. But seeing three men (Paul, Hugh and Ash) go through emotionally (and physically) harrowing experiences, learning to navigate that, and then aftermath of that too, is a discussion I’m really looking forward to them talking about. (I have a feeling we’re probably going to be seeing this with Spock too. Maybe?)

Of course I’m so looking forward to seeing how Hugh returns. It’s been teased for so long now, with very little insight as to how, it’s so exciting and mysterious as it stands now.

And The Reunion. From all the press coverage we’ve had for the past few months, particularly the stuff that has come out in the last few weeks, has really convinced me that emotional journey that we will be taken on in the lead up to Hugh returning will absolutely be so rewarding and feel completely weighted appropriately. Anthony is honestly is amazing at his delivery, so I know that my heart will be stabbed and left to bleed out along the way. Lol. I welcome it. I need those moments to feel genuine and earned. I have full faith that will be the case. I also want to see Ash’s journey done justice. There’s a lot of very difficult subjects and conversations that need to be had around his experiences from Season 1 - so many things left open and untied. I was glad to see his character portray PTSD in S1, but then it kind of… lol I don’t know, his story lost clarity and direction - leaving a whole bunch of things unaddressed. (Although I know they honestly didn’t have time to address these things in S1. So I need to see them do that this season.) I want to see counsellors on the ship!! Clearly probably the whole crew need them after everything that went down with the war, Lorca, the MU. Even if it’s a casual reference - just knowing that our crew has help when they need it would be neat. Speaking of the MU - Georgiou. Hmm, to keep this short. There is a lot of potential for interesting storytelling here. I have a few worries about how she is going to be presented. Again, I do trust the writers, I do. But I think it’s fair enough to be wary of a character that was a fascist dictator and committed horrible acts in her own universe and now potentially has a platform of redemption from those things. She’s an incredibly complex character now, and overall - to simplify it - I’m interested in the themes of nurture vs nature and can a person change within a new environment? (So drastically, because she was up there with the most extreme cases.) Now of course we have a whole new TV show that she will be the face and front of - to do with Section 31 - so it’ll be an interesting concept to explore. (I love Bo Yeon and Eirka so I’m super thrilled about this.) I want to see accountability but also not for her to be treated like “Oh she’s the cool character because she’s so EdGy.”   Speaking of complex characters; Michael. Oh am I so very excited to see Michael’s journey continue. I really love Michael, and know that she has some very complicated emotions to process and worth through in the aftermath of S1. But to see how she grows and is still finding her place in this world, those who matter to her is really wonderful. Sonequa is just wonderful, we’re blessed to have her. The obvious is that I want to see what kind of family dynamics she has between her and Spock - can’t wait for some Logic-battles between them. Lol. Good shit. Just general brotherly and sisterly things, even if their relationship might be non-conventional. It’s been teased that the theme over-all is family, and visually teased that she refers to Saru out loud as family, too. So I can’t wait for them to get more into that. Ughhh I could go on forever, there’s so much I’m looking forward to;

TILLYSARUPIKESPOCK (duh)AMAZING OUTFITS (Thanks Gersha!)AWAY MISSIONSCOMMANDER TIG NOTARO RENOMYCELIAL MISCHIEFDID I MENTION HUGH??? SCRUFFY HUGHPAUL!!!OUR BEAUTIFUL SHIPMORE OF KAMINARwhatever the fuck the Baul areWhatever the fuck IS GOING ONI love it and I’m here for IT ALL

And of course, I am so looking forward to seeing all the amazing things and discussions to be had that the fan community is inspired to make/have during all of this. I wasn’t around during the release of Season 1 as it aired, and came into this world long after it had stopped airing. So the boom will be very exciting and to see things as people create them, in their moments of inspiration. Very excited for that.  

SEASON TWO RELEASE IN A FEW HOURS Y’ALL. I’VE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THE RELEASE OF ANYTHING BEFORE.

[rosesrambling]

@lostlegendaerie since you asked, the Yorkalina fic which was in my drafts will finally see the light of day (which isn’t very long and I don’t know how good it is LOL)

               He moves to a planet full of dust and sand after it’s over, and lets himself sink into a life on the edge of nowhere.

               The desperation is thick enough to taste in the air here. He’s not the only one with battle scars that come with stories too complicated to begin to unravel, though most people’s start and end with the utter mayhem of battle where his is just a story of another time a teammate stabbed him in the back. At least that one didn’t aim for the heart. But he likes being surrounded by people who know, without asking, what it’s like to lose everyone you care about in a few hours and be left alone to try and salvage the pieces.

               He doesn’t move on when the planet starts to fill up with bustle and life as new settlers come. The emptiness isn’t in the planet, he thinks, it’s in him, growing up in all the cracks and empty places where his friends used to be.

               He only ever flirts with redheads in bars; maybe he was trying to make himself forget, or maybe he liked the way that it made his chest ache with loss. He only notices he’s doing it when the bartender asks about it, with a half-smile that says that he knows the answer already. Or at least he thinks he does, because he follows it up with, “Had a girl back home?” and a sympathetic look. York stiffens because it wasn’t a girl back home; he loved her best when she was surrounded by fire and glowing with confidence. The war was her world.

               She was his world.

               And nothing fills the void. He stops going to bars because the alcohol and the painted smiles don’t make him feel any more whole. He stops watching the news because there’s nothing worth seeing anymore. The UNSC is still fighting, somewhere out there. But he’s not. He’s got a voice in his head and armor in his closet and all the time left in the world to while away without ever seeing another battlefield. Survival chances increased four hundred percent.

               He sinks into irrelevance, the only time he feels alive when he’s spinning through the gears of the locks that he makes a living breaking. Everything he knew went crashing down in flames on the Mother of Invention and now that he’s no longer a necessity, he’s nothing at all. Everyone forgets about him and he’s just where he wants to be. The only thing keeping him tied to his old life are the transmissions that he intercepts, decodes, and files away.

               Documentation is important, or so he’s told. He does it because it marks the time, day after day, recording sardonic footage in hopes that someone will recover it later and have a better use for the information than him. It’s all just another way to pass the time until he hears them mention her.

               She’s causing trouble somewhere out there, and the thought makes his breath catch in his throat and his stomach twist in a way that he had almost forgotten. Causing trouble means that she’s still out there, still alive, that his heart didn’t die out in the cold all those years ago. Suddenly, things matter. He has a plan, beyond next month’s bills and finding something to eat.

               Hope blooms in him like a flower in a wasteland. He lost the chance to tell her anything years ago; now he has the chance to say everything that he never did. There’s a smile on his face, genuine and shy, when he thinks of what he’ll say to her when they next meet. He can breathe. It’s a chance to turn back the clock and do everything again properly.

               He forgot the last thing she told him.

               He can’t trust her. He can’t trust even the illusion of her. It turns to ashes in his mouth when he hears the name Texas and he thinks for a moment that he understands why she always hated the name so much. It twists like a knife in his gut and it’s worse than before because he never had a reason to believe before. She was never his to dream about, and he should have remembered it.

               It’s no surprise that he goes along with it when Allison comes for his help. It’s no surprise that he takes the bullets for her, because the battlefield is the only place he can feel alive, and he doesn’t want to go back to feeling dead. The voice that echoes in his thoughts as he dies is his last regret among an uncountable many, but he’s been beyond saving for too long now.

                 If ghosts were real, he would have hated himself for a senseless sacrifice when she came to visit where his armor once lay.

               But ghosts aren’t real, and he was never all that lucky.

[franeridart]

Happy 1000th post to one off my absolute favorite artists on Tumblr!

This is it!!! The 1k post on this blog!!! It’s me finally getting my ass into gear and answering the asks in my inbox!!! As good charm in hope of not waiting so long from now on hahaha thank you so so much, by the way!!!! :D

Anon said:LITERALLY YOUR TODOROKI IS THE BEST THING IN THIS CRUEL WORLD I LIVE THE WAY U DRAW HIM IM EMOTIONAL HHECK ALSO ALL THE REST OF UR ART IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD ITS SO NICE UR CHARACTERS ARE LIKE VERY LONG NOODLES THEYRE GOOD™

THANK YOU FOR EVERY KIND WORD AND ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE TODOROKI ONES HOLY SMOKES!!! I don’t draw him much sadly but he’s super fun and comfortable to draw for me, it’s nice to know he also comes out well!!!

Anon said:So like,,, I really miss your bokuroo ;^; Will you ever post with them again???

I haven’t taken a vow that forces me to never draw them again, so, possibly! At the moment posting for the haikyuu fandom is giving me more sad feelings than anything else though, so I can’t promise that’s gonna be any time soon, I’m sorry 

Anon said:bruhh i listened to that chiodos song under ur halo, and that one by memphis may fire that was w that bakugo art that was called not enough and uhhhhh ur music taste is dope care to share some more songs?

SURE I’m glad you liked those! Everything by Memphis is A+ and I love it so if you haven’t you should check out more stuff by them ( No Ordinary Love is super nice, That’s Just Life is very dear to me and so is Divinity, Speechless is… my otp song for every otp ever tbh) -  Bring Me The Horizon is my fav post-hardcore band and both MMF and Chiodos are that genre so if you don’t know them give them a try! (Blasphemy, Run and Doomed are between my faves out of the latest album, and since you liked Under Your Halo you’re probably gonna like Follow You too) the album right before is amazing too if you’re okay with less melodic stuff, but the further back you go with BMtH the harder to listen to they get, just a heads up - Sleeping With Sirens are on the softer side of post-hardcore lately, Fly, Left Alone, Trouble, Fire and Empire To Ashes are some great ones, between the many, and, uhhhh, at this point I might have recced Nothing More a hundred times but let’s make it a hundred and one, try Funny Little Creatures, Do You Really Want It and Go To War out of the newest album! If you’re into punk and female voices you should check out Tonight Alive too, Jenna has one of my two fav female voices in rock right now (Crack My Heart and Temple are the latest two songs out!) and since I always rec stuff but I never rec anything by my favorite band ever, you ever heard of Alter Bridge? They’re more towards hard-rock/alternative metal, but check out Blackbird, Fortress, I Know It Hurts, Cradle To The Grave and Broken Wings just to make it one for every album I really, really adore this band and everything they ever made

Anon said:I adore all of your art, especially your bnha art!!! I had so many of your drawings saved to my drafts before I read the manga and was really looking forward to catching up so I could look at them all!! They’re all fantastic

AHHH THANK YOU!!! This made me smile lots, I’m so glad you like them!!!

Anon said:What’s coming up? Fluffy, dorky or angsty? (I’m talking about your next work XD just to be sure) Have a great day my friend!

LMAO this was about this one right? I’m sort of a fool honestly cause as I drew it it… didn’t feel actually all that angsty to me? I mean, obviously it doesn’t come after anything happy, but they’re working things out! Making an effort! Loving each other enough to try and understand each other better!! I drew it as something positive but in hindsight I should have expected the reactions lmao so I honestly dunno, I feel like telling you it’s most probably gonna be something happy but as it seems I angst without even realizing, lately #rip

@not-enough-kaneki​ said:Pass the happy! 💛 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications! 😊

!!!!! my cats!!!! tea and coffee!!! Bakugou and Kirishima and Bakugou-and-Kirishima and the squad!!!! not having an headache!!!!!! the sound of ocean waves and the sun on winter days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! new music I like!!!!!! nice asks and lovely tags under my art!!!! that’s more than five things but a lot of stuff makes me happy tbh !!!

Anon said:one of my favorite parts (i love every bit of it) of the holiday pic you drew of the squad, is they each have their own personal mug. 10/10

I didn’t think you’d be able to notice Mina’s!!! I’m glad it was visible, I thought I had made it disappear into the background hahaha thank you!!!

Anon said:i just went through your entire kiribaku tag and, honestly, gay (also ur art is soooo good and pure and thank u so much for all the content u make for bnha 💖💖)

It is very gay, isn’t it? The other day I was going through my old stuff and I think I might have slowly turned them mushier oh my hahaha I’m glad you like my stuff, by the way!! Thank you so so so so much!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Thank you for sharing the beautiful Bakusquad Christmas! It’s very colorful and warm & it gives me such a comforting feeling! I love looking at all the details! Kami & Sero’s ribbons, everyone’s mugs, the decorations, all so cute! Especially Mina’s bulletin board with the photos, charms of the boys, & the little alien dude (?) Each time I look at it, I see other cute details!! Sorry to bother you, but thanks again for sharing your art with us! I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!!!!!

It’s not a bother at all!!! Thank you so so much for looking at it long enough to notice all those details!!!!

Anon said:You are so good at giving advice omg

I wouldn’t say I’m especially good at it, I just say what was useful to me lol but thank you! It’s a nice thing to be told

Anon said:Dude, your bakusquad drawings are awesome! Keep up the great work!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I’m super glad you like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:The new chapter made me think about Bakugou dealing with his squad as babies all over again. Toddlers would probably be worse.

Depends?? Actually??? Like, at least toddlers aren’t gonna steal his gauntlets and tell him he’s lame and punch him just for the hell of it and be a bunch of smartasses and assholes like. Compared to this bunch of baby-Bakugous he has to deal with in the new arc maybe the squad as toddlers would actually be refreshing lol

Anon said:Um I have a very real crush on ila? Can we please know more about her??

I’m ??? so happy you like her!!!!! I don’t wanna say too much about her cause until I draw her in comics I won’t be too sure about who she really is, but she’s!! a pianist, very tall and sorta insecure about her physical appearance, very soft spoken, incredibly gay, scared of sensory deprivation of any kind. Her full name is Ilaria! Dav calls her Aria, which means air in Italian~ they’re pretty good friends, I have a comic about that I’ve been meaning to draw…

Anon said:So, you like KiriBaku with songs, so what do you think of You Had Me At Hello by A Day to Remember? Particularly the lines, “What have I gotten into this time around, I know that I had sworn I’d never trust anyone again, but I didn’t have to. You had me at hello. I’ve never seen a smile that can light a room like yours, it’s simply radiant, I feel more with every day that goes by.”

s o f t…………. ;; also incredibly fitting considering Bakugou decided Kirishima was his new favorite hero the second time he spoke to him, like, god bless I love those two s o m u ch this one I’m listening to it right now and having feelings (is it Baku to Kiri? Kiri to Baku? why not both for double the feels)

Anon said:Hey Fran!! Have you been keeping up with haikyuu? If so what do you think about the Miya twins? (Personally I think they’re pretty okay, they’re funny when they interact with each other. My favorite of the two is Osamu haha)

I don’t mind them! My fav out of Inari is Kita tho, have to admit - that said I have… sort of been ready for this game to be over for months, now………………

Anon said:Okay but imagine….. Kirishima with freckles

I’ve drawn that, now and again!!! the latest one was this one, and another one I remember is this one :D I’ve been liking the idea of him with freckles even more since it’s become official his hair isn’t naturally red? So now and again I add them in, even though they’re usually not much noticeable haha I do so with Bakugou too from time to time, actually… and the rest of the squad… I just… love freckles a lot… haha

Anon said:Love the squad, love the squad kisses.

HECK YES the goal is to draw at least one smooch for every couple sooner or later !!!

Anon said:I hadn’t even realize that I stuck around for a whole year OwO, anyways, congratulations! Your art style has improved much more than you think, especially since you’ve gotten more into coloring ^o^ I noticed that you’ve also been doing more complicated poses too, so, it’s the little stuff that counts ♥️👍 Hope to see more spontaneous art next year, love you Fran!

THANK YOU SO MUCH I love you lots too??? honestly??? This ask means the whole world to me, I really can’t see much improvement after all but knowing you can DOES help a whole damn lot

Anon said:So I came across this fanfic where Uraraka and Todoroki were a thing. I’m personally not a fan of this rare pair, but the whole scenario was the cutest thing ever. Todoroki basically asks Uraraka to help him confess to Midoriya, but in the process falls in love with her instead.

Awwww that sounds cute! Can’t say I have any particular feelings about the ship, but I am up for Todoroki with nearly anyone so why not!

Anon said:Bro bro bro I’m sorry if this is the wrong channel to go through or something but holy shit I just spent hours going through your entire tumblr and your. Art. And. Concepts. I… can’t??? DUDE YOU’RE AMAZING AND YOUR TATTOO AU!! I?? Just thank you so much for all the awesome work you do honestly made my entire fuckin week with your blog, you are WICKED GOOD AND FUNNY AF. That’s all I got go on with your day you talented ass fiend

I’M CRYING!!! OH MY GOD THANK YOU!!!!!!! I’m gonna pick this ask and frame it right on top of my desk!! The heck!!!!!!

Anon said:Why is Bakugou such a fuckin meme

The real question is why is everyone in class 1A a meme. How do they even keep up. How much of the shit they say on a day to day basis is actually just catchphrases from other 1A kids repeated over and over again. How much of the deadpan ridiculous shit Todoroki says has become an inside-joke. How many 1A kids move and talk like Iida just for the hell of it. How often do they yell DIE at inanimate stuff when it pisses them off. How much stuff is defined as manly even though it has nothing to do with manliness. Do they say “going wheey” instead of “frying one’s brain”. Can anyone outside of 1A even understand them when they speak at this point.

Anon said:You are amazing human bean and I love you 💖 Keep being great ✨👏

Thank you??? ;O; I’ll do my best!!!

Anon said:Just annonly passing by to tell you I F'ing love your take on Ashido And the Kids XD … Way to much fluff And laugh for my heart

THANK YOU!!! I’m happy I can make you laugh!!!! :D :D :D

Anon said:I love you god bless you and your art! THANK YOU!

NAH THANK YOU FOR BEING THIS NICE!!!

Anon said:Hi! I absolutely /adore/ your BakuKiriKami art! I was wondering if you had any headcanons about them/what inspires you to draw them?

More than headcanons for them I have an incredible amount of scenarios I’d like to see them in! And when they’re compact, complete things I usually draw them, which is what inspires me really haha that, and seeing them interact in the manga! Lately I’ve been really drawn to Bakugou and Kaminari’s friendship, actually, so the romantic stuff has fallen in the background while my mind is preoccupied with thinking about them as platonic good pals ahhhhhhh as soon as I’ll work through it I’ll probably get back to drawing them as romantics, that’s just how my mind works lol

Anon said:I love the casual clothes you design for MHA characters! And I really enjoy reading your headcanons-always creative and fun! Is there anything you’d add to anyone’s hero costumes in class 1-A (something that might prove useful/practical for them, or something you’d add just for the heck of it)? Sorry if this is a stupid question or if you’ve answered a similar question before. Thanks for your time!

It’s not a stupid question, don’t worry!! But I generally like to leave myself in Horikoshi’s hands for this sort of stuff, since I both enjoy the costumes as they are AND don’t want to be disappointed in case what I hope for doesn’t actually happen - that said, I’ve mentioned before that I’d really like Aoyama to get redirectors for his laser on his palms and for Kaminari to get a close combat weapon, since with the quirk he has anything metal would actually work wonders for him! He mentioned a sword, but I rest my case that tonfas would be cool, I really want him to use tonfas. A “costume” I don’t understand is Hagakure’s, by the way - would be nice if she got an actual costume and also I don’t really get why she’d wear gloves at all?? Mirio’s costume was made using his hair, I really want her to get something similar! That’s about it tho, I haven’t really thought much about anyone else in that sense~ 

Anon said:Hello! A few weeks ago I asked about the bracelets you drew for Baku & Kiri. (That art is so beautiful!!) I was wondering if there’s a story behind them; such as, did one of them buy the pair, or did they pick them out together? I’m sorry if it’s a dumb question and if I’m bothering you.

THIS ASK I had lost it, thank you so much for sending it my way again! Actually, Kirishima bought it for himself and Bakugou - I mean to draw a small thing for it, be patient with me while I try to get my ass into gear for it ;O;

Anon said:It’s been a while since you’ve done any BakuKiriKami, do you still like that ship?

I do - as I said a few answers above this one, I’m just finding myself weirdly invested in a platonic relationship between Bakugou and Kaminari at the moment, and also Bakushima stole my focus and soul, but I do still like the ship a whole damn lot, definitely still my fav ot3 in the manga~

Anon said:I love your drawings so much, they always make my day seeing them. But I gotta say that kiri with his hair down is my weakness. He just looks so pure, the cuteness factor goes through the roof.

Thank you???? The Kiri thing is true for canon Kiri too, I’m glad I can bring it in my art!!! Mostly cause when I draw him with his hair down I’m never really sure what the hell I’m doing, I’ll be honest with you lmao

Anon said:hello, holy fUCKin shit how are you this damn good at drawing? like, fuck? thank you, bless you, have a nice day

THANK YOU! And all I do is draw, really lmao I wouldn’t say I’m all that good, definitely not anywhere near the artists I admire, but since all I can do is draw as long as I keep doing that I guess I’ll get there, sooner or later hahaha

[dillydedalus]

what i read in february

check to find out if i defeated my nemesis thomas mann by reading the magic mountain or surrendered to his absolute rule over my unread books shelf

milkman, anna burns this is deeply divisive on the bookish internet apparently with fights over a) whether it’s brilliant or garbage, b) whether it’s difficult, c) whether literary difficulty is a moral issue (with both renouncers-of-milkman and defenders-of-milkman variously taking either side). here’s my lukewarm take: a) it’s good, b) it’s not that difficult but can be frustrating to read, c) it’s not a moral issue, like, obvi. anyway, y’all probably know what this is about (girl in belfast during the troubles finds herself stalked by dangerous paramilitary, gossip & violence abound). i found the decision not to use proper names, either for the characters (narrator is middle sister, other characters are ‘maybe-boyfriend’, ‘wee sisters’, ‘third brother-in-law’, etc) or the setting really interesting - it added both to the conversational feel, the paranoia in the community and the universality of themes like civil violence, paranoia, mistrust, sexual harrassment, pressure to conform etc. 4/5

paradise, a.l. kennedy (uni) idk man this is well-written and especially the writing about drunkenness & the depth of hannah’s addiction & misery (and joy, which kennedy does not avoid) is vivid, but i’m still p meh on it, and it was definitely too long for what it was doing. i’ll add more after the class where we’ll discuss it (update: the class was unfortunately a mess so I’m still ehhh about it) 2.5/5

die verängstigten, dima wannous (tr. from arabic) an english translation, the frightened ones, is coming out some time this year i think. this story is told thru two narratives, one by sulaima, a syrian woman with anxiety living in damascus, whose brother has been disappeared by the regime and whose lover nassim has fled the country, and one thru chapters of the unfinished novel nassim leaves behind for sulaima, narrated by a girl called salma, whose life story mirrors sulaima’s own. this is a very interesting set-up, and i think both the narrative structure and the combination of anxiety as a psychological illness and anxiety/paranoia as a social state caused by political repression & violence were really interesting, but sometimes the book felt a bit muddled and confusing to me. 3/5

der schlaf der gerechten, wolfgang hilbig (the sleep of the righteous) this is a collection of connected short stories set in a mining town in east germany - the first 4 stories follow the narrator figure (who’s not necessarily the same, but very similar throughout all stories) as a child and young adult, growing up in a town almost without men after world war 2, whereas the last 3 describe the narrator’s return to this town as an adult after reunification, struggling with his own and east germany’s past. i ADORED the first stories - they are insanely good, dark, atmospheric, beautifully written and so evocative of the materiality of this town, the ash, the coal, moulding fruit, gritty, grimy, ash coating everything (the blurb on the back says that your hands will come away from the pages stained with soot, and i feel that). the second set is good too, but it moves away from that sensual evocation which i loved so much. 4/5

the golden fool (tawny man #2), robin hobb y’all i really tried to read this one slowly, and it worked for four days but then i decided that i might as well read read the entire second half in one day so. anyway this is hard to talk about w/o spoiling a lot but robin hobb truly is the queen of character writing. loved the elliania plot, loved the coterie forming, loved the bingtown delegation, loved fitz and the fool having Feelings Drama (made me Big Sad tho - also fitz is my son & all but good god he can be a dumbass). i feel like this one’s mostly setting everything up for fool’s fate but it’s good. 4/5

the sixth extinction: an unnatural history, elizabeth kolbert engaging & accessible nonfiction book about extinction, including both past extinction events, the history of science about extinction and focusing on the current extinction event (with several example species, from frogs to rhinos) mostly caused by humans fucking everything up. 3/5

the course of the heart, m john harrison tbh i just didn’t get it.... maybe i’m not versed enough in gnosticism & weird esoteric shit. anyway, this is about three friends haunted by some spiritual ritual (lol) they held while at uni with a sinister guy called yaxley. you never find out what they actually did, but they construct a whole mythology about it that i uh. didn’t get. tbh i pretty much checked out halfway thru. 1.5/5

barracoon: the story of the last “black cargo”, zora neale hurston (audio) interesting & sad & really touching account of cudjo lewis, one of the last africans to be shipped to america as slaves, mainly made up of his own narrative, collected & put together by hurston. some interesting background info about how the book came to be as well. 3/5

how to survive a plague, david france in-depth account of the aids epidemic in the us, especially in new york, combining personal stories, insight into aids activism, scientific progress (and for most of the book, lack thereof) and staggering political neglect and failure. well-written, informative and well-explained but (obviously) very emotionally draining.  4/5

fool’s fate (the tawny man #3), robin hobb lmao i love emotionally dying about robin hobb books. anyway A LOT happens in this one & i was very emotional about most of it but most emotional about fitzchivalry farseer (idiot, son boy, changer) and the fool (beloved!) and my man burrich (lol say the words ‘heart of the pack’ & i’m already overwhelmed). anyway this was a very epic & hardcore emotional conclusion to this series & robin hobb may make me cry any time she wishes. 4/5, series rating 4.5/5

what it means when a man falls from the sky, lesley nneka arimah collection of short stories mostly set in nigeria and in the us. some of the stories are magical realist-y, some are more realist, but almost all are concerned with familial bonds and bondage, the complicated relationships between parents and children. the stories are well-executed and precisely told, but while i liked quite a few of the stories (esp. the title story) i just didn’t feel particularly strongly about most of them. 3/5

heimsuchung, jenny erpenbeck (visitation) another interesting take on 20th century german history from erpenbeck - this one is centred around a house by a lake in brandenburg & told thru the various people connected to the house over the years & decades, owners, visitors, neighbours, etc. it’s an interesting concept & well-executed & clever & erpenbeck can write but it kinda paled for me in comparison to her aller tage abend, which does a similar thing in very different way. 3/5

currently reading: look okay i have Not finished the magic mountain but i am still reading it so i still have a chance of defeating mann in single combat. i’m actually kinda liking it but it’s A Lot, so i’m taking it slow. also call me zebra which i am v v...... unsure about??